tagged w/ The Stupid Times
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The head of the Central Intelligence Agency has accused former Vice-President Dick Cheney of masterminding a secret plot to keep President George W Bush's mouth the f*ck closed.
Congress, the judiciary and the media were all unaware of the secret plot to keep the President locked in a small room at the White House, or cover his mouth with masking tape when he was allowed out in public.
http://thestupidtimes.blogspot.com/2009/07/cheney-ordered-cia-to-cover-bushs-mouth.htmlThe head of the Central Intelligence Agency has accused former Vice-President Dick... more
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The White House was in a celebratory mood today after President Obama effectively won a second term in office following the Alaska governor's announcement.
Democratic strategists went home and the nascent 2012 re-election campaign was wound down as the former Republican vice-presidential candidate stepped down as governor due to falling popularity at home and blatant positioning for a presidential run.
http://bit.ly/IRkBKThe White House was in a celebratory mood today after President Obama effectively won... more
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This will save your child's life - but shorten your husband's
As swine flu fears sweep across Britain, nauseating middle class parents have found a new way to imagine they are yet again in control of another public health scare.
However, efforts by Britain's mums to look superior in the face of expert scientists advising against fads and bullshit ideas are being undermined by the nation's Dads hovering in the garden throughout and drinking too much beer in the garden.
http://bit.ly/5qgiKThis will save your child's life - but shorten your husband's
As swine flu fears... more
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The announcement that the Royal Family cost British taxpayers 69p each last year has sparked calls for a national low price booze rebate system.
Turps nudgers across the country have demanded that the money is returned so they can sit in a park on a sunny day drinking piss warm grog, whilst watching the world go by and possibly shouting at it. 69p is plenty to get a quick hit of cheap strong cider or lager.
http://bit.ly/12NLVNThe announcement that the Royal Family cost British taxpayers 69p each last year has... more
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Consumer group Which? have undone years of public health education in a single stroke by pointing out that vegetables smeared in gloopy fat based dressings are not much good for you. Most people on the street have taken this as confirming what they have always thought - namely, that salad is a bunch of arse.
http://thestupidtimes.blogspot.com/2009/06/just-eat-big-macs-say-health-experts.htmlConsumer group Which? have undone years of public health education in a single stroke... more
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Why can't the Tories just get over it?
"Conservative members of parliament were apoplectic last night as Conservative MP John Bercow was elected Speaker of the House of Commons. Senior Tories have accused the government of 'dirty tricks' by installing a Tory into the job."
http://thestupidtimes.blogspot.com/2009/06/tories-furious-as-tory-is-elected-new.htmlWhy can't the Tories just get over it?
"Conservative members of parliament were... more
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Whoever The Stig is, when o when are people who watch Top Gear going to wake up to the fact that their hobby is a bit stupid:
"After years of anonymously testing high-performance cars on the popular BBC petrol head show, The Stig has been revealed as a complete and utter dickwad."
http://thestupidtimes.blogspot.com/2009/06/top-gears-stig-revealed-as-twat.htmlWhoever The Stig is, when o when are people who watch Top Gear going to wake up to the... more
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What is behind this bizarre F1 controversy? Lots of rich people arguing over an extra few percent? Or is it something more sinister..................??
Embattled F1 bosses are taking drastic action to quell a rebellion amongst the teams and drivers responsible for much of its success.
The Federation for Automobile Zealots International (FAZI) Party and its charismatic but odd leader Max Mosley have begun a reign of terror to keep the F1 coalition together, including pogroms against Jewish shopkeepers in the Silverstone area, street-fights with the Communist Drivers Association, and a slightly confusing arson attack on the German Parliament.
http://thestupidtimes.blogspot.com/2009/06/max-mosley-burns-down-reichstag-in.htmlWhat is behind this bizarre F1 controversy? Lots of rich people arguing over an extra... more
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The dumbing down of politics and public life should probably look something like this:
"A new primetime show called I'm an MP......get me in the Chair! will be aired on ITV1 on Sunday and Monday with the candidates for the job put through various tests at a camp in the New Forest. The public will vote off one MP every few hours by phone. Presented by Ant and Dec, the tasks will include drinking steaming hot bowls of horseshit, climbing up trees to get food rations, and eating animal genitals in an attempt to prove they are the best person for the job."
Probably no more silly than the current system for electing the speaker.
http://thestupidtimes.blogspot.com/2009/06/new-commons-speaker-to-be-chosen-on.htmlThe dumbing down of politics and public life should probably look something like this:... more
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A satirical eye on the latest twee animal story - why are people always gushing over animals when we are all hardcore carnivores?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/hampshire/8108319.stm
Diners at a Hampshire restaurant became so fond of a duck that lived in the garden, they have shot it, cooked it, and eaten it
Arnold Flemborn, a Professor of Anthropology at Cambridge University, said: "People in this country always go on about how much they love animals, right up until dinnertime. Then all bets are off, as we enter a carnival of killing and greed. That cute spring lamb you were cooing over this morning? Dead and on your plate. The sweet calf you fed at the farm? Dead and in the oven."A satirical eye on the latest twee animal story - why are people always gushing over... more
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Their demonstrations were centered on the historic Tiananmen Square in Beijing, where the iconic image of a lone man standing in front of a tank was beamed around the world. Now in an apparent act of contrition, the government has teamed up with McDonald's to commemorate the brutally crushed rebellion with a new representation of the scene.
http://thestupidtimes.blogspot.com/2009/06/china-marks-tiananmen-square-with.htmlTheir demonstrations were centered on the historic Tiananmen Square in Beijing, where... more
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......the final tiebreaker saw the contest go to the President. He confidently spelled out INTERROGATION and sat down sure of victory. Cheney was asked to spell HUMILITY and immediately lost his footing. Asking for a sentence, he was given "You sir, do not appear to have a single f*cking shred of HUMILITY you crypto-fascist piece of sh*t."
http://thestupidtimes.blogspot.com/2009/05/obama-cheney-faceoff-in-national.html......the final tiebreaker saw the contest go to the President. He confidently spelled... more
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