tagged w/ Great Moments
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Undercutting is the biggest problem in media, aside from outlets trying to stop the hemorraging of cash or living in fear of a bigger iPhone. Still, getting paid for work is a tough business. We can blame the economy and record people desperate for work, but it can still be sickening to find out that people just aren't willing to pay for the amount of effort and work.
And Nerve.com is no different.
Don't be too confused, dear reader. This is an instant where we're basically discussing insider baseball. I know most people only care about CRAZY FILM RUMORS or speculation lists built around personal opinion. But being paid for all of that can be a hassle and a half.
A simple Craigslist listing advertises:
Major website seeks film writers for a weekly review. You'll recommend the best new release of the week in 300-500 snappy, well-informed words. The premise for the column is - "If you're going to see one movie this week, see this one, for the following reasons." The tone needs to be enthusiastic but sharp. We're looking for a positive, upbeat voice, although not every review needs to be a rave. It's the best option of the week, but that doesn't mean it's flawless. We're looking for writers with prose that's super clean. You also need to live in a place where you could see multiple screenings per week. If you become a regular writer, you'll be paid $25/week.
At first, that doesn't seem too bad. $25 to write about one movie? That semi-sorta-kinda covers the asking price of even going to a theater. But look back at it and it starts to warp: "if you're going to see one movie this week" means sludging through three or four films depending on the week. Even if you're a credentialed and established freelancer, that means you're seeing four to five films, choosing one and then being paid sub-sub par rates for it.
For a hot second, Nerve was going to be the site for sex, culture and funny writing. It was going to be the next Black Table. It even had an HBO special that fizzled out faster than a prom night "special event."
So how do we know this is Nerve? We're going off a tweet and experience with how the site operates isn't a bad place to start, kids. But do you even know of Nerve? As the years move on, it becomes less and less relevant. A few years ago, Nerve's Screengrab was a daily must-read for those film freaks and connoisseurs. Then, it died.
So why is this a fail?
Because there is no way to pay LESS MONEY for seeing multiple films in order to turn in 500 words than this. Frankly, it's quite sick that any website would do this, but hey, isn't it better than nothing? No? Oh. Re-read that one segment: "If you become a regular writer, you'll be paid $25."
There's an implication that you're writing for free until you are a "regular writer." Which is the same as saying, "fuck off and die we can use your content and let you go without ever having to give you money."
Way to FAIL Nerve.Undercutting is the biggest problem in media, aside from outlets trying to stop the... more
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[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="344" caption="A Dramatic Interpretation of Universal's "Love""][/caption]
I'd try to put a better description up here, but I'm a bit baffled by this incredible fan letter that was sent to Latino Review. The subject? The Wolfman ripped off Twilight.
It's no dirty secret that Twilight fans are nuttier than peanut brittle, but they are people too. And people, when chock full of nuts, can be unintentionally hilarious when venting their opinions.
Curiously, this young--I'm assuming here--fan sent her gripe to Latino Review's El Guapo. Which, on the grand scale of sending angry letters about film franchises, is like sending me a complaint that Fireball didn't make sense because gas can only burn for so long.
Regardless of asking why, what's done is done. And here's why:
To whom this may concern:
This movie was a complete waste and I feel that it offends ALL Twilight Fans around the world, that including myself. For one, it was a COMPLETE remaking of the Wolf Pack from the Twilight Saga: New Moon. It gives the werewolves a bad name and makes them look like some deformed mutation of a rabid dog. I actually started to like werewolves after seeing Jacob Black and all his awesomeness on the big screen at the movies. That was until I saw your crappy remake of what you call to be a "were wolf".
Oh it gets so much better.
I don't see how you live with yourself for making it the way you did. If I made this movie, I would be ashamed to even admit that I owned it. How can a werewolf be killed with a silver bullet? Better yet, have you saw the transformation of the man that is "supposed" to be the wolf? He sits in some chair and his entire body turns in to some mutated freak. If you would watch the transformation of Jacob Black, (Taylor Lautner) he doesn't come close to looking as fake, cheap and or mutated as the wolf man. You tell me, who looks to be the better werewolf.
I highly recommend you read the rest of the open letter, including a movie poster comparison that will sort this mess out once and for all.[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="344"... more
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Join me friends as I harken back to a simpler time. The Dark Knight just came out, the Internet was a younger place and the denizens of /co/, 4Chan's Comic and Cartoons board, were enamored with their favorite character in Christopher Nolan's sequel.
Batman? Joker? Black Dynamite? No.
They were pumped for Willaim Fichtner as The Bank Manager.
Blink and you'd be rocked away by the shotgun of Fichtner, who appears in the briefest of cameos as the manager of the mafia-owned bank in Gotham City. But nearly a year ago, The Bank Manager became the subject of an epic /co/ thread that elevated Fichtner's cameo into the stuff of nerd legends [btw, that link is extremely NSFW due to advertising. Be warned to scroll fast.]
There was some rumor that the manager was itself a spoiler role and he was Tony Zucco, the man who arranged the hit that killed Dick Grayson's parents. But the co/m/mrades soldiered on with their new hero. Mainly, through questioning if he'd show back up or if this was an origin role cameo.
"He becomes the riddler with a shotgun," one wrote. Then came a more Golden Age approach:
He is the last son of MANE-GOR, a foreign planat based on bureaucracy and money transactions. When an intergalactic economy crisis hit it, it blew up. His escape capsule happened to land on earthwhere he used his superhuman banking and shotgunning skills against evil... Err.. wait. Did I get him mixed up?
Another had a more practical answer: "[I]t was william fichtner, humorless actor, he just stumbled onto set one day and started improvising and shooting his shot gun."
Thanks to Tripfa..code user J !EM5exyYJvA, the best part about this thread started: the one-liners.
-He'll take you to the bank..the blood bank.
-Want a stock tip? Invest in lead. *BANG*
-I would like to make a deposit of these rounds into your fucking skull.
-"You go back into your car, but I'm calling shotgun." *BANG*
-Sorry. *BANG* WE don't accept American Express.
-"So what's it gonna be Joker? Leaded, or unleaded?"
-The DOW just went down 5 points. And now so will you *KABLAMMO*
-CREDIT CHECK! *blammm!* DENIED!
-No, ma'am. BANK you.
-Looks like I'm gonna have to shell out for you as well!" BANG!
-The economy is headed for a second depression. So I'll make a depression. In your chest. BAAM
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Then, inevitably as it does on any comic forum, came a question of who was better:
Bank Manager vs. The Punisher
They both have a shotgun
Who wins?
-Bank Manager. Because of the interest he has in seeing the Punisher dead.
-THE PUNISHER KNOWS HOW TO USE COVER. THE BANK MANAGE, BADASS AS HE IS, DOESN'T REALISE THAT HE'S NOT GOING TO PENETRATE THE TABLES. HE RUNS OUT OF AMMO AND GETS SHOT BY FRANK.
-the bank manager can liquidate any table. your theory sucks.
-THE BANK MANAGER KNOWS HOW TO RUN A BANK. THE PUNISHER DOES NOT. BANK MANAGER IS VICTORIOUS.
-The reason why the Bank Manager would be victorious is because The Punisher would miscount how many shells the Bank Managers shot get out of cover and be blown away.
-The Bank Manager. Because the Punisher keeps selling himself short.
- The Punisher may be good at saving people. But the Bank Manager is better at WITHDRAWING people.
Perhaps the scene is best relayed in this bit of dialog:
"Hey Castle!"
"You still alive?"
"Yeah!"
*BANG*
"You forgot your receipt, Castle. Never forget to ask for..."
*BANG*
"...your receipt."
Quickly came the next pairing: The Bank Manager vs. Captain America:
"Sorry, Cap. But I guess no one told you..."
*BANG*
"...you're in a recession."
Bank Manager vs. Iron Man:
BM: "Mr. Stark, that's no way to run a corporation. Keep doing that and you'll end up...
*snaps Tony's neck*
...broke!"
And finally, The Bank Manager vs. Spider-Man:
(Spiderman hanging by a thread of his webbing over the side of a building)
Bank Manager: You just keep making the same mistakes. Even after the dot com bust, you continue to invest in --
(shoots the webbing sending Spiderman plunging to his death)
Bank Manager: -- the web.
On that day, a grand meme was born thanks to Christopher Nolan. And from that day forward, tales of The Bank Manager would spread far and wide. In fact, some say if you listen real close, you can almost hear him firing his shotgun into tables. After all, this was a Great Moment in Nerd History.
Join me friends as I harken back to a simpler time. The Dark Knight just came out,... more
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Plagiarism is a dirty word when it comes to media and The Internet. The implications are damning and can ruin a carrier depending on how severe the crime. But when a writer consistently re-publishes the works of others as their own, they're committing one of the worst offenses in this wondrous new media landscape.
And that's why Lisa R. is responsible for this Great Moment in PLAGIARISM FAIL.
The FAIL started yesterday when Todd Brown posted the eerie similarity between an interview with David Michôd on Twitch compared to one Lisa R. did. What's eerire is that the quotes are exactly the same. The two differences being Lisa R.'s claim that she had a phone interview with Michod at Sundance, whereas Twitch's Simon de Bruyn spoke with him in person. Aside from that, the quotes are exactly the same.
From there, the FAIL grew farther as people in the comments questioned Lisa's affiliation with WDK Films--of which, she claims to be a co-owner, but doesn't appear on their site, as pointed out by Sean "The Butcher" Smithson.
Lisa appears to be a freelancer working for Westwood One, but even this can't be confirmed, as her blog is riddled with unattributed sentences, quotes and interviews from a litany of other sites.
Brown would update the same page with more instances where Lisa's reviews are cherry picked from other sources, such as her Inglourious Basterds review is cribbed from Kirk Honeycutt's own review in The Hollywood Reporter. Of course, there is the question of why someone would knowingly steal from other sites that are doing the reviews and interviews. You can ask her on twitter.
But until then, let's bask in this Great Moment. Because it's rare you'll find someone dumb enough to think this can work in this day and age. Special kudos to the Twitch community for bringing this up and doing some crowd-sourced reporting that didn't turn full lynch mob.
Plagiarism is a dirty word when it comes to media and The Internet. The... more
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Do you ever lie awake at night as the rain gently taps at your window and wonder what happened to Bill Pullman? Maybe you keep the covers pulled over your face at the merest creak of the door.
And so you should, as this Great Moment in Creepypasta proves you should be afraid of Bill Pullman.
Very afraid
Or you should be, per this wonderful bit of creepypasta that showed up on /x/ last night.
I had this weird-ass nightmare about an hour ago, /x/.
I was in my apartment, and for some reason, the locks kept breaking on my door. I try repairing them, but they just keep breaking.
Then an omnipresent voice is heard - one that sounds like the movie trailer guy. He narrates my situation, and how my locks keep breaking, and the potential dangers that can happen from leaving my door constantly unlocked. On cue, a group of people wearing do-rags and tattoos start walking past my door. I guess that was a subtle hint about the dangers of niggers and spics.
After that comes the most bizarre and stupid part. A ghost appears outside my door - the ghostly visage of Bill Pullman. It turns out that it's Bill Pullman that's preventing my locks from being repaired.
The movie trailer guy says that "there's nothing you can do. Bill Pullman always gets his way." Then, as if I was watching an actual movie trailer, the words "The Pullman Way" appear in front of my eyes, accompanied by "Coming Soon".
After that, the door adjacent to my apartment opens, and a gigantic head floating in oblivion, covered in locks of hippie hair and a huge mouth, appears and laughs.
That's when I woke up and decided to share. What a ridiculous dream. Fuck Bill Pullman.blockquote>
I mean, it is pretty silly, isn't it? Bill Pullman, as a ghost, hiding outside your door. That's just silly talk. Isn't it?
Do you ever lie awake at night as the rain gently taps at your window and wonder... more
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For the first time in a new year, it glorious white unicorn almost appeared for the film world: The Spy Next Door almost had a zero on the Tomatometer.
And then, tragedy struck. It got two positive reviews.
Choice critical cuts off Rotten Tomatoes make Spy sound like the best drinking game of 2010 ("It opens with "Secret Agent Man," for god's sake!") And yet, two critics saw a semblance of hope in Jackie Chan's latest vehicle that reminds us he used to be young.
Avi The NYC Movie Guru (ranking at 8th on 2009's Criticwatch) takes the plot and condenses it to the point that Chan sounds like an invalid: "Little doe s he know that his babysitting task won’t be quite as easy as he expected it to be given all the household chores, i.e. cooking breakfast, that he hasn’t yet mastered. "
[caption id="" align="alignright" width="170" caption="What Spy lacks in...wait. "][/caption]
The high point? That Chan is "a charming actor with great comedic timing and it’s a lot of fun to watch him during the fresh action sequences." Of course, he could be talking about the opening sequence, which is essentially a clip reel from Chan's earlier films.
The personal touch is The Movie Guru's graph and "Number of times I checked my watch," which is a true sign of criticism. Actually, the meaning and source of the graph is something of a mystery. Of course, you can see the allusions to The Wizard of Oz, but it never is confirmed on the site. At all.
So we're left to speculation while checking our watches.
The second positive review comes from Neil Minow at Beliefnet. Under her "Movie Mom" column, the first sign of things to come is the drug use in Spy. Namely:
d
Minow easily accepts this is a movie for kids and that it's "the kind of entertaining silliness that is aimed squarely at eight-year-olds who are old enough to enjoy the action and young enough to think an adult saying 'poop' is funny."
But I'm not entirely sure how "[k]ids will relate to the parallels between espionage and parenting" and then have a family discussion (no, really) about why the kids came around to Bob or how the bad guys failed. You should never have to tell your eight-year old about "plot devices." That comes with the birds and the bees and sneaking into PG-13 films.
Of course, it's unfortunate to see that Spy isn't getting a zero. You should also go check it out and then upload a review for next week's Rotten Tomatoes Show. We'll have a family discussion about it. It'll be super.
For the first time in a new year, it glorious white unicorn almost appeared for... more
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Every so often there'll come a time in everyone's life where they will scrunch up their face, narrow their eyes and utter, "America, I am disappoint."
This time, it's because of Channing Tatum. And his boiled penis.
Best known for being the most vanilla action hero since the other guy, Tatum isn't known for his charming demanor. Or common sense, apparently.
While on the set of The Eagle of the Ninth, apparently a common way to keep warm is pouring hot water down your wetsuit. Unfortunately for Tatum, this involved scalding hot water. This ineveitably lead to scalding hot water being poured on his crotch.
This is all told in detail during--irony of irony--a profile for Details. What comes next is why you should be disappointing, America.
Up next comes Channing Tatum showing pictures of his boiled penis to the writer:
Channing Tatum’s penis is gross. It looks like a hot dog that’s been left too long on the grill. The tip is hot-pink, singed, and shriveled. It appears angry. And it’s painful to view. My penis hurts just from looking at it.
This raises a number of interesting questions. The tip of which starts off with, "WHY WOULD YOU TAKE A A PHOTO" and ends on, "WHY WOULD YOU SHOW SOMEONE THAT?"
But hopefully, after you're done cringing, you'll be disappoint.
[via Filmdrunk]
Every so often there'll come a time in everyone's life where they will... more
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We suggest you look check out our previous links to The Playlist's Wolfman story before enjoying one of the best moments in Internet Commenting we've seen all week.
We suggest you look check out our previous links to The Playlist's Wolfman... more
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[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="He's working on his Tony Stark outfit."][/caption]
In case you were looking forward to Iron Man 2 this year, you should be warned that your sense of excitement means nothing compared to this guy.
Writing over at the SuperHeroHype boards, Masterle247 has proven that if you've got the determination and know-how, you too can have an awesome self-made suit of War Machine armor. He has more photos over on the board, but take a gander at his specs:
Spec's so far
-Wrist rockets w/ laser v1.0completed
-Mini Gun simulated fire and drop lock system w/laser v1.0 completed
-Movie accurate Arch reactor v3.0
-Mid-section w/ movable plates v3.0
-"underwear armor" v2.0 Completed
-Leg's/Pants armor v3.0 Completed
-Armor shoes v1.0 Completed
-Neck cover piece armor v2.0
Things still need completed
-Replusor gauntlets
-Upgraded helmet v7.0 w/ upgraded flip open/close hinge system
-lighted eyes "in progress"
-remote firing system "to shoot bottle rockets hehehe"
-replusor gauntlet top cover.
-Paint job with brush metal finish.
Denver is a hell of a place.
[Gizmodo via SuperHeroHype][caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="500"... more
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Maybe you heard the Internet hubbub last Friday when The Hollywood Reporter broke a review embargo for James Cameron's Avatar. Most of the Internets were gobsmacked that a trade, not a filthy blog, would dare shake a stick at the 800-lb gorilla that is Fox.
And then everyone rushed their reviews out as fast as they possibly could. The shocking part? Fox said nothing about it and let the praise stream out. Except when it is a bad review. Then the embargo's on.
Sean Burns, a critic for the Philadelphia Weekly, did not like Avatar. In fact, it was "tacky," to say the least. This lead to one of the first public notices that Fox had finally come back on its' previous embargo. Now, the biggest kicker?
Avatar, as of writing this, has screened in New York, Los Angeles and Boston for critics. Burns lives in Boston. The Philadelphia Weekly is in a city that is very much not like Boston. A number of New York critics have written about it without complaint: Glenn Kenny liked it.
Armond White thought it was "the corniest movie ever made about the white man’s need to lose his identity and assuage racial, political, sexual and historical guilt."
So, why did Armond write that without having hellfire and brimstone rained upon him from 48th Street? Because he was in New York. He still writes for a (technical) alt-weekly, but he didn't have an axe hovering over his head.
The same use of embgo politics affected Now Playing, a movie review show on WOCC-TV. Doesn't sound familiar does it? Well, it would if you lived in Columbus, Ohio. Disney had informed Mark Pfeiffer that Princess and the Frog couldn't be reviewed on a December 8th episode, as the embargo was until December 11th.
Mind you, Frog was in special release in New York and Los Angeles for exorbitant prices. Outlets in both cities ran their reviews on day of release, as well as blogs and other online sites that geographically fall within those locations. While the embargo is one of a PR firm's best tools at keeping critics and outlets in check, it ultimately serves as a general reminder that if you dare not suffer in "The Big City," you'll be damned to whatever overtly caffeinated whims a guy under a guy under a guy has to suffer when the two folks above him break out the rakes with hot coals duct taped on.
Prior to this entire mess, Ryan Stewart was dead on. Except it wasn't his dream team theory of /film, AICN, Cinematical and Film School Rejects--it was a Trade with basis in a city that Fox gave way to. I don't mean to get on a soapbox--said the scruffy idiot savant as he adjusted his milk crate--but I can see the purpose of embargos. Without them, the AICN model could've have theoretically evolved into something much worse.
Instead, it transitioned itself into the format for which many sites and blogs function today. It's not secret that some publications seem more like the A.V. Club's mutated brother screeching "FFFFFFIIIRRRSTIES REVIEW. FFFFFFFFIIIIIIRRRSTIES" while waving club-shaped arms in the air. But that's shifted into a workable system. Same reason why people attend film festivals and then bank material for the future.
So I can completely understand the embargo. What I can't understand is why Fox has decided to play some twisted game of God when it comes to a negative review in an alt-weekly in Philadelphia, or why Disney is scared of a movie review show in Columbus, Ohio. But then again, I guess Columbus' entire population is avid readers of THR. So who needs local reviews when you have the genius that is Kirk Honeycutt and his completely fucking inept reviews.
So that's why the Avatar embargo is a Great Moment in Public Relations.
edit: As Mark tweeted after I published, "FYI, we tape our show every 2 weeks, so FROG isn't being reviewed until 12/21 due to the embargo. Got ARMORED airtime instead."
Maybe you heard the Internet hubbub last Friday when The Hollywood Reporter broke... more
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This is funny to about six people. But, my God, the laughter won't stop.
via @JFCameron
Uploaded with plasq's Skitch!
This is funny to about six people. But, my God, the laughter won't stop.... more
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So what's better than a vampire fighting a werewolf for bragging rights? If you said having the fight filmed in glorious IMAX by a brooding and capable director who has an eye for playing upon the audience, you'd be getting closer.
Now! Ready? For the third Twilight film!
What?Yes, today's awesome press release does advocate the rule of showmanship and illiteration in that the third film of a franchise should associate itself with a gimmick. Instead of a sparkly pedophile in every theater, you get a sparkly pedophile sprayed across your face in a dark theater using IMAX. So you can almost touch the sparkles.
Variety's got the boiled down version of the release, while Collider runs it full.
Personally, I'm bummed out no one is mentioning that this technically means Eclipse will be the first film released by an independent studio that'll be shown on IMAX.
Now to wait with fingers crossed that the same'll happen for Breaking Dawn or whenever we have to watch Robert Pattison bite into Kristen Stuart's stomach to remove a child. That'll be worth a few laughs.
So what's better than a vampire fighting a werewolf for bragging rights? If you... more
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It isn't a secret that Old Dogs may be universally reviled--maybe only has five percent on the Tomatometer, which is surely a sign of something. Or maybe, there's something more to it.
You should take a gander at the Rotten Tomatoes Show's review, but consider the cultural impact of Dogs. When was the last time a movie existed solely to have you go into a theater while under an influence? Aside from Rocky Horror.
The No Sobriety for Old Dogs event proves a very important point: any horrendous film that Robin Williams and John Travolta make for a paycheck that is thematically wrong canbe improved with "improvement juice." In fact, Matt Singer has given me more of a reason to actually see the film now, since the best part of Old Dogs include:
-Travolta has a really old dog.
-Lori Laughlin and her freakish cleavage. It was a full house, all right.
-The scene where Travolta and Williams have to dispose of the dead hooker.
...
God bless mainstream anti-cinema.
[Current]
It isn't a secret that Old Dogs may be universally reviled--maybe only has... more
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In case you're blind or lucky enough to not be a film nerd, you may not be aware we're in the midst of list season. This is the magical time of year when every film nerd, cinephile, blogger, critic, writer, journalist, "journalist," and new media savior whip out their Macbooks and start combing through ripped up press notes to assemble their personal choice for films that reflect the year.
There's an important word there: "personal."
Because of that, we have Scott Feinberg to thank for this installment of Great Moments in Dickitude.
It's true, Feinberg may be no Christopher McDonald, so why award him for being a massive dick? Why are you unfamiliar with his name? Does it even matter that a random guy on the Internet is a dick?
Let's discuss, shall we?
First and foremost, Scott Feinberg wants to let you know that "YOUR AD HERE!" is the valid name for his site. You could also call it "And The Winner Is...," but it doesn't have quite the same ring to it. He's an "Oscar Oracle" and knows how the industry likes to vote--at least in 2004 and 2006. The other years don't get mentioned in his on-site bio. Those must've been the years that the "fucking snobs" were picking snob films like Good Night, and Good Luck or No Country for Old Men for Best Picture instead of longshots like Finding Neverland and Letters from Iwo Jima
Feinberg tweeted earlier today: "This is why people hate film critics...what a fucking snob" then linking to Richard Brody's Best of the Decade list.
Brody begins:
It’s been an unusual decade; I spent much of it hunched over spiral notebooks and laptop computers in libraries and cafés and at kitchen tables here and in France while writing a book (remind me to mention the bathroom, in a house in Normandy, that I rigged out as a nocturnal study), and didn’t maintain my usual diet of cinephilic delights.
GOD. WHAT A FUCKING SNOB. HE USES SPIRAL NOTEBOOKS AND WRITES WORDS IN FRANCE.
Which is why, though few who issue their best-of-decade lists can claim to have seen all releases, many have likely seen more than I have this time around, so I’ll put an asterisk to the adjective above and note: the twenty-six best movies I’ve seen (and will resist the temptation to issue a separate list of the best films I haven’t seen).
If you're still missing the important point, allow me to spread it out like a mid-summer picnic: there is no hint of "fucking snob" in Brody's list. Personal opinion and even a list of honorable mentions follows in an orderly fashion from a critic who then invites discussion about the films he did miss; the two key exceptions being The Darjeeling Limited and Knocked Up, which did receive a mid-to-wide release.
The implication that Feinberg makes is clear: if a film isn't widely released or avaliable, it is a sign of elitism and "fucking snobbery." Being the bastion of new media that I am, I openly asked Feinberg to explain himself. We'll update if he responds.
Whatever the reason, Feinberg doesn't explain what a "fucking snob" means. It couldn't possibly be generating listicles, since that is his weekly bread and butter. Maybe it is the overabundance of foreign films? Feinberg's own Best of the Decade (part 1 and 2) keep Dogville as its' sole "foreign" member, while touting Juno, Wall-E and Traffic amongst his non-"fucking snob" ranks.
Whatever the case, it is with baited breath we wait to hear what makes a "fucking snob." Until this, a very special thanks to Scott Feinberg for giving us another Great Moment in Dickitude.
In case you're blind or lucky enough to not be a film nerd, you may not be... more
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There comes a point in every niche-specific blog when you've got to stretch that extra inch to pump out a post. Maybe you're a movie blog, ankling to finish that last post of the day. Maybe you're lacking the caffiene to get the first post going?
Whatever the case, confusing a South Korean director for a Japanese is grounds for being a great moment in cinematic fail.
Japanator's Holiday Shopping Guide is made up of films and recommendations that read like a 10-15 minute Google search of recent releases. It even goes between one writer's love of HKFlix to the second group of suggestions being solely based around Amazon.
And you know, that's fine. To reveal my own inner (despite my hatred for the term) otaku, I read Japanator daily. So it's with that I burned inside a bit when one of the "Japanese films" suggested for the holiday season was Chan Wook-park's The Vengeance Trilogy, which was a definite DVDon't.
My main problem with the listing? Wook-park is Korean, not Japanese. Thus it is a lazy list recommendation, especially when the author only cites OldBoy as a reason for the boxed set. In no way should it knock Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance, which is an incredible film, but a majority of viewers coming into the series would do so after OldBoy. And for good reason.
OldBoy is a swan song. Oddly, it represents the culmination of Wook-park's stylization that would be absent from Lady Vengeance. In fact, compared to the rest of the films suggested, OldBoy is a gigantic leap from the live-action Detroit Metal City or Crows II. The entire list reads like a haphazard mess thrown together in order to appease some list-making God that would otherwise smite a village unless this was cobbled together in five minutes.
The fact that 20th Century Boys, K-20: Legend of the Mask or Love Exposure would be left off this list of import DVDs proves there's something wrong here. Not to mention they would be "Japanese" releases instead of Korean.
But regardless, choosing a haphazard and "variety pack" edition of Chan Wook-park's work is more than enough reason as to why that list is a Great Moment in CINEMATIC FAIL: The Asian Edition.
There comes a point in every niche-specific blog when you've got to stretch... more
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Yes, Virginia, Star Trek comes out on DVD tomorrow. It will likely look fantastic on Blu-Ray and will inspire the perfect holiday combination of awesome and J.J. Abrams. In fact, there's nothing wrong with it. Trek is fantastic. It is nerd perfection.
Except, it's a little too perfect.
It's no secret that Star Wars and Star Trek have rabid fanbases. They've been pitted against each other for years and have used speculation back and forth (i.e. lasers don't work on Federation shields, hence all of the Star Wars beam weapons are inferior to phasers.)
Way back when Abrams' Trek came out, there was a rumor that R2-D2 made a cameo. Nerds came. He may have even been in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (ok, not really.) But it really was finally confirmed yesterday that the little Astromech droid that could is in Star Trek.
And tomorrow, it's released on DVD.
The only thing missing? If R2-D2 had an Apple logo and was made from legos, it may have very well caused Jesus to die from excitement. Thankfully, it didn't. And that's why this is a Great Moment in Press Office Relations, since the Paramount people totally remembered:
a) Gizmodo is read by a ton of people.
b) Gizmodo originally contacted them for comment, was denied. Rememered DVDs=$$$.
c) ????
d) Profit! Oh yesyeyeyeyes. YES. Harf. Woof.
[gizmodo]
Yes, Virginia, Star Trek comes out on DVD tomorrow. It will likely look fantastic... more
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There's something horrendous about a teaser trailer that relies on CGI, Sam Worthington and nondescript but shitty, generic rock music that manages to out-cliché other upcoming studio wank fests featuring 3D animation, desperate Oscar grabs , half-billion Hail Marys or financing your pool.
Still, it is hard to figure what route Louis Leterrier would take for his Clash of the Titans remake. I'm a mild fan of Danny the Dog/Unleashed and acknowledge Leterrier is a distinct fan of constant motion, pulling an audience along for whatever roller coaster they happily agreed to strap into. It escalated from Transporter 2 into The Incredible Hulk, wherein he became progressively more obsessed with trading actors in for graphics and culminated with the "Playstation"-esque final battle in Hulk.
It's not like the original trailer was groundbreaking. In fact, if anything, it's the period equivalent to this teaser. And yes, it is a teaser. But the second you cross the line firmly set in place by The Last Action Hero and Jack Slade level quips with "TITANS. WILL. CLASH." We get it: this is going to be Greek mythology by way of sugar coatings, giant scorpions that oddly keep the beat and yelling.
Fine. But it doesn't mean we have to like it. And that's why this has been a great moment in cliché trailers.
[y! movies]
There's something horrendous about a teaser trailer that relies on CGI,... more
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Honestly, I won't mock it. It's actually endearing. Link at the bottom for you to click and get more info. I did think it was spam when I first woke up this morning, so blame my lack of coffee.
So, away you go Press release:
Actor and longtime conservation activist Edward Norton will run the NY Marathon as part of a team raising awareness and financial support for the Maasai Wilderness Conservation Trust, a Kenya-based conservation organization. Norton and 3 Maasai warriors will be leading 30 people from all walks of life running the ING New York City Marathon on Nov. 1st. The organization has launched a web-based fundraising effort (maasaimarathon.com) to bring together corporate sponsors and a grassroots network of donors sponsoring the team of runners. Norton helped create the U.S. non-profit partner of the organization and serves as President of the organization’s Board. It will be the first marathon for Norton and his Maasai teammates, most of whom have never traveled away from their community in southern Kenya.
The campaign will raise funds for the Trust's programs in conservation, education and health care as part of its mission to promote conservation and sustainable economic development. The Maasai Wilderness Conservation Trust works in partnership with the Maasai community to foster practices that benefit people and wildlife as well as the ecosystem that they both depend on. The legendary biodiversity of the East African grasslands ecosystem and the famous culture of the Maasai people are both threatened by competition between people and wildlife, water shortages, sub-division of land and urban migration. The urgency of these issues is currently exacerbated by a severe drought taking place in Kenya.
In initiating the marathon campaign, Norton and the Maasai Wilderness Conservation Trust are partnering with two major corporations committing both financial capacity and services critical to the effort. RMJM, an international architecture and design firm with special expertise in constructing healthcare facilities, and AECOM (NYSE: ACM), a global provider of professional technical and management support services with expertise in environmental planning and management, are the founding sponsors of the project and are fielding staff members on the Marathon team.
In addition to pledging funds and fielding the team, RMJM and AECOM have also come on board offering much-needed professional services to MWCT. Specifically RMJM is designing, planning and funding a state-of-the-art health clinic for the Maasai community, some of whom currently walk up to 60 miles for care. The health clinic will be designed by a team from RMJM’s Global Health and Science Studio in New York and will follow sustainable design principles. The acclaimed healthcare organization Partners in Health has provided strategic advice and expertise toward designing a community health strategy. AECOM is providing strategic organizational planning, conservation strategy, eco-tourism business and marketing guidance to advance the Maasai Wilderness Conservation Trust’s conservation and education efforts.
"I got involved with the Maasai Wilderness Conservation Trust about 8 years ago and I really believe in the work they do,” notes Norton. “Their approach to conservation is a model for the kind of partnerships we need to forge if we're going to solve the puzzle of being human but living sustainably within our environment. We came up with the idea of raising funds by fielding a team of runners because the Maasai are born runners, runners as a matter of culture and heritage. I've never run a marathon before and the difficulty of it is both intimidating and motivating, especially when it's for a cause like this, and having RMJM and AECOM on board on this initiative is incredibly exciting – like a turbo-booster on our efforts."
RMJM’s CEO, Peter Morrison, who will himself run in the marathon, said: “As a global firm, we have a global responsibility to help those who need it most. Quality healthcare is a serious need for the Maasai people as very few clinics exist and, as one of the foremost healthcare design firms in the world, we believe we can make a significant contribution to a healthy and sustainable future for the Maasai. We are thrilled to be working with Edward Norton to put our architects’ skills to work for a fantastic cause.”
“The goals of this alliance closely mirror those of AECOM – to enhance and sustain the world’s built, natural and social environments,” said John M. Dionisio, AECOM president and chief executive officer. “We are proud to support the efforts of the Maasai Wilderness Conservation Trust as it protects the Maasai’s land and their way of life.”
The marathon is the premier annual event of the New York Road Runners, which will have 6,800 runners representing more than 80 charities with a combined fundraising goal of $21 million. The 40th running of the marathon is expected to draw more than 40,000 runners.
[Massi Marathon]
-John LichmanHonestly, I won't mock it. It's actually endearing. Link at the bottom for... more
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Ok, ok. I get it.
Originally a friend of mine IM'ed me late on Monday night with a sole phrase: "Fight Smack In The Orphanage" and signed off.
Two days later, I get it.
Oh and don't forget--Black Dynamite comes out soon.
[FiSTO!]
[Twitchfilm]
edit: I used the Twitch embed because FSITO!'s wasn't playing for some reason. Oh, Wordpress.
-John Lichman
Ok, ok. I get it.
Originally a friend of mine IM'ed me late on Monday... more
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[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="406" caption="Larry Clark, sans children."][/caption]
Larry Clark, the controversial director of Kids and Ken Park, is hatching a new film about troubled American youth.
It's really funny if you're familiar with the films he made.
The real news would be if Clark was making a movie not about "troubled American youth."
[ScreenDaily.com ; photo credit:Getty Images/Mat Szwajkos]
-John Lichman[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="406"... more
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