Funny // Current TV

Washington -- Still stinging from the lowly 10% approval rating it received from the American public, Congress has taken revenge, bestowing a measly four percent approval rating on taxpaying citizens.

“Taxpayers are doing a terrible job of providing the House and the Senate with the resources we need to run America correctly,” said one prominent Senator who asked to remain anonymous. “You ask us: ‘where are the jobs?’ We’re asking you: ‘where is the cash?’ ”

The Senator went on to deny the public’s charge that Congress can’t get together to accomplish anything worthwhile. “Right here is an issue 96% of all Senators and Representatives agree upon. Only 4% of my colleagues believe American taxpayers are holding up their end of the bargain.”

A long-term Representative, who asked to remain anonymous, said that American taxpayers are not working as hard as they should because they are being “distracted by the details of democracy.

“They need to let their Congressmen and Senators take care of such things as liberty, justice and freedom. Most of us are lawyers so we know how to work around those issues. Just send us the money and we will make everything okey-dokey.”

Another Representative, who asked to remain anonymous, began weeping when questioned about the record low approval rating Congress received this month.

“Sticks and stones can break my bones, but those low approval numbers give me a bad case of the blues. So I’m glad my colleagues had the courage to turn the tables. You suck, taxpayers.”

Building on the anti-taxpayer momentum, one Senate leader, who asked to remain anonymous, has drafted a bill “that would make corporations more like people, so they can make up for the increasing number of taxpaying slackers.

“My bill proposes that we give all corporations friendly nicknames, like Fred and Bob. Buy them a cake on their birthdays. Take them out for lunch, even when there’s no special occasion. And if some insider stock information is discussed, there’s nothing wrong with good friends shooting the breeze.”

Also included in the proposed law is a motion that would sell the naming rights to several Washington landmarks. Reportedly, a deal already has been cut with a major bank, renaming Congress’ home “The Capital One Capitol.”

“What’s in your Constitution?“ the Senator asked.Washington -- Still stinging from the lowly 10% approval rating it received from the... more

mbalton
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Blow Your Mind (Dumb Dog Trick #264)

Why do I make Dumb Dog Trick videos?

I started doing photography in black and white. Developing photos in the darkroom. Eventually I stopped because, even though my prints were large and beautiful, it was such a pain in the ass to make them. I started making videos when digital technology made it easier to make short films or videos than it used to be to make a single print.

Dumb Dog Tricks is obviously inspired by the David Letterman Show's Stupid Pet Tricks. Did you know that when Animal Planet started Pet Star, Animal Planet got Letterman's Stupid Pet Trick coordinator to round up the talent. And, yes, I was turned down from Pet Star by that dude (can't remember his name) because my act didn't have "pop." But, heck, to be honest, he was pretty nice about it. He was also one of the few people I ever had a real chance to talk about it with. Early days of email. I also think the guy worked pretty hard wrangling a selection of animals. Lots of dog candidates.

So, what do you do? Make your own show.

Who needs pop when I got Dumb Dog Tricks? The point of Dumb Dog Tricks and really any dumb dog video, very funny dog video or what-have-you worth watching is to share the love and fun that pet ownership brings.

I pray you be easily entertained, however, as Dumb Dog Tricks are like Modern Art, the mystique is elusive, if you know what I mean. And how could you know what I mean! Har! Get it? It's that dumb.

What did I just watch? Why did I just watch that? What the hell? I want those :42 back. Hey look, there's links to more of these stupid videos. Hmm I'll try this one.

It has taken me about three years to balance the level of corniness with the immense stupidity and proper tone. It has not come easy. The theme music sound was made by scraping a '57 Chevy bumper against a curb. The photos appear chaotic, even paleolithic in their stark simplicity. The sound of the crazy man's voice conjures images of cigars, cognac and whispered secrets.

The experience of a dumb dog trick visually is similar to what one think when one of our pets leaves a surprise on the carpet -- What the crap is that?

Peace and love to all throughout the land.

Jimmy JumpWhy do I make Dumb Dog Trick videos? I started doing photography in black and... more

JImmyjumpnjive
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I Hate My Kids: Dressing Room

Deborah bypasses her mother's instructions.

TonyDiGerolamo
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3 days ago
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Twitter in Focus: Norm Macdonald

Norm Macdonald tweets awesomely.

TonyDiGerolamo
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3 days ago
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Sports Guys: It’s a Physical Game

The Sports Guys talk about the dirtiest players in basketball.

TonyDiGerolamo
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4 days ago
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