tagged w/ expulsion
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A mother whose image of her son dressed as Daphne from Scooby Doo went viral across the internet has been threatened with expulsion from her church.
The 35-year-old sparked furious debate about the ethics of parents posting pictures of their children online after she put the shot of the five-year-old boy in drag on her blog.
She had written about being criticised by other mothers at her son's school for letting the Scooby Doo fan dress up as Daphne for Halloween, after he had asked for the costume specifically. He later expressed his nervousness at how people would react.
She was widely supported after her staunch defence of his right to wear whatever he wanted and be free from judgement, but her decision to post a shot of him caused others to suggest she was putting him at risk.
Now, in an updated post, she says church elders discussed her 'spiritual care' and decided she had broken the eighth commandment by bearing false witness.
Two meetings with her pastor followed, after a call in which she said she was called 'defensive' and 'vindictive' and told she needed to do penance.
Her first meeting disclosed that church members were worried she was 'promoting gayness', while at the second the pastor said she should apologise to the women she had 'slandered'.
In addition, she said she was told she should take down the post, and consider removing the entire blog.
If she refused, the mother - who says she is head of a mothers' group at the unnamed church - was told: 'My punishment was to be disallowed from receiving Communion, and if I were to continue to not seek forgiveness, I may be removed from the congregation and not be able to transfer to another church in our denomination in good standing (which feels like the harshest punishment a modern-day pastor can dole out.).
'It felt like an ultimatum.'
Only after contacting 'someone higher up in the church a couple of days later' was the threat of withholding communion removed by the Pastor, and he emailed to say it had not been meant as an ultimatum.
The writer, who calls herself Cop's Wife on her forum Nerdy Apple Bottom, said in the posting late last week: 'I cannot tell you the betrayal I feel.
'The church, or at the very least Pastor, is trying to bully me into shutting up, and I find that so disheartening.
'I am floored by the fact that they’ve gone to so much trouble regarding a post that discusses love and tolerance that was posted 3 months ago.
'I am shocked that they do not see the hypocrisy of what they are saying to me.
'I am in complete disbelief that this has been handled in the way it has.
'I have never felt less welcome in a church.'
In her original 'rant' - under the headline 'My son is gay' - she described how when they arrived at school the pair were subjected to 'wide-eyed' stares from other mothers who 'made faces as if they smelled 'decomp'.
The part-time yoga instructor from the American Midwest added: 'Mom A says in disgust, “Did he ask to be that?!” I say that he sure did as Halloween is the time of year that you can be whatever it is that you want to be.
'They continue with their nosy, probing questions as to how that was an option and didn’t I try to talk him out of it. Mom B mostly just stood there in shock and dismay
'And then Mom C approaches. She had been in the main room, saw us walk in, and followed us down the hall to let me know her thoughts.
'And they were that I should never have "allowed" this and thank God it wasn’t next year when he was in Kindergarten since I would have had to put my foot down and ‘forbidden’ it.
'She continued on and on about how mean children could be and how he would be ridiculed.'
In defence of her own actions and her son's rights to wear what he wanted, she wrote: 'IT IS NOT OK TO BULLY. Even if you wrap it up in a bow and call it "concern".
'Those women were trying to bully me. And my son.'
In her latest posting on the church, Cop’s Wife writes: ‘Again I say to you that bullying is not okay, even if you wrap it in a bow and call it “spiritual care”.’
Her original post attracted almost 20,000 comments, whereas previous posts have attracted just 11 or 12 comments.
Claude Knights, director of child welfare group Kidscape, said at the time: ‘A child dressing in a costume like that doesn’t worry me at all, children have to be free to explore, but what does worry me is that there seems to be an adult agenda here. And that’s troubling and disturbing.’
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1354513/Mum-posted-image-son-dressed-Daphne-Scooby-Doo-went-viral-threatened-expulsion-church.html#ixzz1DOTqkHH4
her blog
http://nerdyapplebottom.com/2010/11/02/my-son-is-gay/A mother whose image of her son dressed as Daphne from Scooby Doo went viral across... more
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