tagged w/ Falcon Heene
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he mother of the 6-year-old boy once feared missing inside a runaway helium balloon admitted the whole saga was a hoax, according to court documents released Friday.he mother of the 6-year-old boy once feared missing inside a runaway helium balloon... more
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What are you doing sitting there?! Everyone is making money off of Falcon Heene. Why the hell aren't you?
infoMania is a half-hour satirical news show that airs on Current TV. The show puts a comedic spin on the 24-hour chaos and information overload brought about by the constant bombardment of the media. Hosted by Conor Knighton and co-starring Brett Erlich, Sarah Haskins, Ben Hoffman, Bryan Safi and Sergio Cilli, the show airs on Thursdays at 10 pm Eastern and Pacific Times and can be found online at http://current.com/infomania/ or on Current TV. And make sure to check out our facebook profile for special features at http://infomaniafacebook.com.What are you doing sitting there?! Everyone is making money off of Falcon Heene. Why... more
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Those monsters.
Last Friday I watched in horror as a six-year-old boy drifted 6500 feet above the plains of Colorado in a silver plastic bag. A CNN aviation expert warned the kid might have been frozen stiff or unable to breathe due to the high altitudes.
Falcon, as they called him (that was his name), was in trouble.
Surely he’d pissed his pants.
At first I enjoyed what seemed like a true-life “Flight of the Navigator,” but then real fear sunk in. Witnesses reported that an object fell from the silver plastic bag while it was floating high in the air. That object must have been the intrepid Falcon, who was not in the silver plastic bag when it landed several miles from his home.
But it wasn’t Falcon who fell. He was hiding in a box in his family’s garage.
So what was the mysterious object? Could it have been the last few sane thoughts belonging to Falcon’s father, Richard Heene? Did they jump onto that silver plastic bag along with his self-respect and consideration for other human beings?
Or perhaps it was the maternal instincts once belonging to Mayumi Heene, the mother and video editor of the family. Did her husband’s long-term aspirations of launching their children into the stratosphere strip her of a definitive characteristic found in all … mammals?
“Hide in the box, Falcon. Cha-Ching!”
But Falcon couldn’t keep his damn mouth shut. The poor kid didn’t know he was being exploited, and – in front of millions of viewers – he spilled the beans. And in those simple words …
“We did this for the show.”
… It all becomes so clear.
You see, the Heenes wanted to be on television. And who doesn’t? I’ve been on television and it’s fucking amazing. You get to DVR yourself and queue the video for every single person who enters your home.
“See how I look into the camera but you can’t really tell because I’m blurry?”
Still, the journey of a child star is along a dark and winding path. For every Neil Patrick Harris there are 1,000 Mario Lopez wreaking havoc and destroying everything they love. Seriously - let’s not forget the Corey Haims and Gary Colemans of the world before they become poster boys for something else.
And that’s where it gets twisted. Somewhere inside of their sad, lonely and diseased brains the Heenes thought they were doing a good thing for their family. A good thing for Falcon. They were wrong. No six year old with a household name has ever done well. In fact, the most successful one to date just died of a drug overdose. His name was Michael Jackson.
So I say let the ‘Balloon Boy’ drift out of the headlines. Let him be a normal kid away from the cameras. Let him have a shot at a productive life. And make sure his parents don’t interfere with the process. In fact, someone should revoke the Heene's ability to purchase or operate A/V equipment. For Falcon’s sake.
Fact: Ten years from now the Gosselin kids will be smoking meth with the stars of “Britney Spears is My Mom.” The pipe sharing will be featured on the “Gosselin/Federline Road Rules Challenge.”
Fact: The Heene family will get its own TV show. It might be after Poppa Heene serves a few years in jail or the kids spend time in various orphanages (also a show), but “The Heene Family Flying Low” will happen. Damn straight it will.
And every time I order popcorn at the Frolic Room and watch the glowing metal coils heat and expand the foil bag resting above the portable stove, I’ll remember the Friday I sat on the edge of my seat and watched that same shape drift above the plains of Colorado.
Those monsters.
With every kernel that pops: “Those Goddamn monsters.”Those monsters.
Last Friday I watched in horror as a six-year-old boy drifted 6500... more
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Today, I declare that all around the world, and even on Facebook, Twitter and the Google, that today is “Leave Balloon Boy Alone” fake Wednesday because today is really Tuesday. I’ll explain fake Wednesday later, but please bear with me here.Today, I declare that all around the world, and even on Facebook, Twitter and the... more
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The family of 'Balloon Boy' Falcon Heene will face criminal charges for what authorities are calling an elaborate hoax. In a press conference on Sunday, Larimer County Sheriff Jim Alderden said authorities have evidence the family staged the release of a homemade hot air balloon and subsequent report their son was missing as a "publicity stunt."The family of 'Balloon Boy' Falcon Heene will face criminal charges for what... more
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(CNN) -- Authorities in Colorado say criminal charges are expected to be filed against Richard Heene, a storm-chasing father whose giant Mylar balloon ascended into the sky earlier this week, sparking fears that his 6-year-old was aboard.
"We do anticipate at some point in the future, there will be some criminal charges filed with regards to this incident," Larimer County Sheriff Jim Alderden said.
"What those charges may be, as I stated yesterday, what we we're looking at is Class 3 misdemeanor, which hardly seems serious enough given the circumstances," he said.
The saga captured the nation's attention early Thursday afternoon, after authorities reported the family's homemade helium balloon was set adrift, apparently with young Falcon Heene inside.
Rescuers from several counties followed the silver, saucer-like vessel as it raced across the Colorado sky until it made a soft landing some 90 minutes later in a field 90 miles away.
The boy later came down from an attic above the family's garage. Video Watch the latest on Colorado balloon family »
Alderden said the department wanted to consult federal officials to see if more serious charges may apply.
"We certainly want to talk to FAA officials and federal officials to see if perhaps there aren't additional federal charges that would be more appropriate in the circumstances than what we're able to do locally."
Alderden said Heene and his wife came in Saturday voluntarily for police interviews.(CNN) -- Authorities in Colorado say criminal charges are expected to be filed against... more
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The father of the 6-year-old Colorado boy who was thought to have been swept away in a helium balloon this week, told reporters the incident wasn’t a hoax.The father of the 6-year-old Colorado boy who was thought to have been swept away in a... more
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Falcon Heene was wheeled into the Today Show for a post-hoax follow up interview and couldn’t handle his shit like Paula Abdul at the American Idol judges table. After minutes of fidgeting, he epically puked on live TV and mom had bucket handy to catch his morning chocolate milk. The interweb is a buzz with the possibility that the kid forced himself to throw up–for more publicity. Take note Lilo. Check the zoom at :37 seconds and tell me if you think he gagged himself.
http://www.tabloidprodigy.com/?p=7239Falcon Heene was wheeled into the Today Show for a post-hoax follow up interview and... more
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Six-year-old Falcon Heene, who has been catapulted into the national spotlight after it was feared he floated away in a homemade flying saucer, seems to be having a bit of trouble with the media attention.Six-year-old Falcon Heene, who has been catapulted into the national spotlight after... more
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When Wolf Blitzer asked Falcon Heene why he didn't come out of the attic when his parents called for him, the little boy said to his father, "You guys said that we did this for the show." Was it simply an innocent statement, easily misconstrued, or was it a "from the mouths of babes" moment? Either way, speculation that the whole thing was a hoax is spreading like wildfire.
Immediately after Falcon said, "You guys said we did this for the show," his father became flustered and started criticizing the six-year-old's habits, saying, "Whenever we tell him it's a bad thing to do, he does go and hide, he cowers down. Like when we go to the store, he says he wants candy or something, and I have to tell him no, so he's always behind, and the other boys always tell him 'Hurry Falcon, hurry.'" Here's the statement in question. (note: the family name is misspelled in the heading of the YouTube clip.)
(Click link for second part of interview, during which Blitzer asks Richard Heene what the child meant.)When Wolf Blitzer asked Falcon Heene why he didn't come out of the attic when his... more
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The 6-year-old boy has been identified as Falcon Heene and is the son of the Colorado hot air balloons' creator. Falcon who was reportedly seen by his brother getting inside the experimental aircraft's compartment just prior to it being torn away from its tether causing the hot air balloon to fly away uncontrollably. The brother told his parents which then captured the attention of the nation.The 6-year-old boy has been identified as Falcon Heene and is the son of the Colorado... more
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chmk
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added this
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2 years ago
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