tagged w/ Jim Tressel
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PCW Extreme Political TV
Verizon Wireless Arena
Manchester, NH
Monday June 23rd, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave
Suave welcomes everyone to PCW. He announces that newcomer #2, managed by former Ohio State football coach Jim Tressel, will make his television debut tonight.
MATCH #1 REPUBLICAN RUMBLE
-’Pizza Delivery Guy’ Josh Jackson- representing Herman Cain
-’American Citizen’ Kevin Scott- representing Mitt Romney
-Jack Schmidt- representing Ron Paul
-Farmer John- representing Tim Pawlenty
-Dann Armey- representing Rick Santorum
-Average Joe- representing Michele Bachmann
-???- representing Newt Gingrich
Gingrich (R-GA) then gets on the mic and tries to beg off due to the mass defection of his upper echelon advisers. He says he wasn’t able to find a wrestler because of the upheaval in his campaign.
Unfortunately for Gingrich, the other six don’t buy his explanation and drag him into the ring. Armey and Scott double suplex Gingrich over the top rope to the floor below. Rick Perry (R-TX) and several of Gingrich’s former campaign workers run out and stomp away at Newt. Perry and company drag Gingrich to the back.
Gary Johnson (R-NM), barred from the match by CNN, tried to make a run-in with Magnum P.O’d but security stopped them from reaching the ring.
Halfway through the match, Michele Bachmann (R-MN) tells Johnny Suave that she’s officially in the PCW CEO race.
End of match:
Farmer John misses a Hydrogen Bomb in the corner and lands awkwardly. Scott finally returns to the ring and hits a series of dropkicks on the big guy for a two count. Farmer John goes for a chokeslam on Scott but gets nailed with a top rope hurricanrana from ‘Pizza Delivery Guy’ Josh Jackson when he turns around. Frog splash from Scott. Jackson and Scott begin duking it out in the corner. Scott nearly leaps right into the Pizza Cutter from Jackson. But Scott counters with a drop down jawbreaker. Farmer John then throws Jackson over the top rope. Scott then schoolboys Farmer John from behind and hooks the leg…1…2…3.
WINNER: ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott w/Mitt Romney (R) @ 8:52
MATCH #2
#2 w/Jim Tressel (I) vs. Bobby Ralston (I)
Tressel spent most of the match hawking his books about ‘doing the right thing’ while #2 systematically took Ralston apart. He didn’t see the ‘Insanely Mad Hungarian’ Alex Hrabosky sneak in and clock #2 from behind. Ralston made the cover and stole the win.
WINNER: Bobby Ralston (I) @ 6:11
Post match, Tressel accused Hrabosky of cheating. Hrabosky challenged #2 to a match next week at PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed. #2 accepted.
MATCH #3
PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (D), Big Labor (D), and Triple R (D) versus
Charlie Blackwell (AmHeart), Ken Worth- The American Trucker (AmHeart), and Daniel-San (I)
Tanaka and Blackwell hook up just once in the prelude to their PCW Title match next week. The California Teacher’s Union: Andy ‘The Foul Pole’ Golatta and Malibu Dusty (D) hit the ring and attack Blackwell et al.
This brought down Ken Worth- The American Trucker and SNAFU (AmHeart) and the match dissolved from there.
The final shot of the show saw Tanaka (D) and Blackwell (AmHeart) stare each other down again.
WINNER: No contest @ 13:45
Other notable happenings:
-In an interview with PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein, PCW CEO Barack Obama made his first public comments on the Anthony Weiner (D-NY) matter. Obama told Bernstein “I can tell you that if it was me, I would resign. When you get to the point where…you can’t serve as effectively as you need to…then you should probably step back.”
Bernstein also announced that the PCW Competition Committee formally approved Weiner’s 2 week leave of absence earlier today.
-Lebron James holds a press conference in the back called ‘The Excuses.’ He tries to explain how the Miami Heat lost the NBA championship to the Dallas Mavericks. Finally, he lets loose… “They have to wake up tomorrow and have the same life that they had before they woke up today. They have the same personal problems they had today. I’m going to continue to live the way I want to live and continue to do the things that I want to do with me and my family and be happy with that. They can get a few days or a few months or whatever the case may be on being happy about not only myself, but the Miami Heat not accomplishing their goal, but they have to get back to the real world at some point.”
Dirk Nowitzki walks out and James leaves.
Cleveland Cavalier’s owner Dan Gilbert walks in as well. “Mavs NEVER stopped & now entire franchise gets rings. Old Lesson for all: There are NO SHORTCUTS. NONE. By the way, I heard a great joke today. I heard tomorrow’s National LeBron James Day. I hope everyone takes advantage of their chance to leave work 12 minutes early.”
Ohio’s John Kasich (R) piled on as well. He resolution proclaiming the NBA champion Dallas Mavericks “honorary Ohioans” since “the proud city of Cleveland and the entire state of Ohio share the excitement of Dallas Mavericks fans everywhere. Dirk Nowitzki chose to re-sign with the Dallas Mavericks in the summer of 2010, forgoing free agency and keeping his talents in Dallas, thus remaining loyal to the team, city and fans for whom he played his entire career.”
-Talk show host Thom Hartmann cuts a promo and says that PCW CEO Barack Obama should ‘starve’ his detractors in the Red States until they agree to raise the debt limit.
Def Leppard’s ‘Tear It Down’ begins.
You got the look of a howlin’ wolf
I like it
The kind of eyes that could start a fire
Yes, I like it
A streetwise dynamo
I switch you on and I watch you go
A thrill to touch, you’re so hot
I’m coming for you ready or not
I’m gettin’ ready
Livin’ on the edge of a dream
Gettin’ ready, I’m gettin’ ready
Oh, switch on your lovin’ machine
Crowd: What the #$##! What the #$##!
Tear it down
There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down
I can’t wait another day
Hartmann tries to escape but the Extreme Equalizer pulls him back in the ring. Then WTF delivers a powerbomb and flips him off.
Tear it down
There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down
If only you could stay
All night long
-Conan O’Brien cuts a promo at Dartmouth: “You have graduated more great fictitious Americans than any other college. Meredith Grey of ‘Grey’s Anatomy,’ Pete Campbell from ‘Mad Men,’ Michael Corleone from ‘The Godfather.’ In fact, I look forward to next year’s valedictory address by your esteemed classmate, Count Chocula. Of course, your greatest fictitious graduate is Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner. Man, can you imagine if a real treasury secretary made those kinds of decisions?”
-The PCW Tag Team Champion’s California Teacher’s Union: ‘The Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta and Malibu Dusty (D) address a rumor that started when Malibu Dusty debuted at #10 on the CWC Women’s Wrestler charts. Felcher and Felcher join the champions and threaten to sue the CWC until Malibu Dusty makes a stunning announcement- she is a woman. Suave does the FARGO STRUT! Malibu Dusty admits that she’s a female bodybuilder/teacher.
NEXT WEEK- PCW LOOSE CANNONS UNLEASHED 7:PCW Extreme Political TV
Verizon Wireless Arena
Manchester, NH
Monday June 23rd,... more
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Former Ohio State Football Coach Jim 'The Vest' Tressel made his managerial debut last night at a PCW house show in Rome, NY last night.
Tressel guided new wrestler “#2″ to an upset win over ‘The Insanely Mad Hungarian” Alex Hrabosky. Before the match, Tressel promised to bring integrity and winning with honor back to PCW. It was interesting that during the match with Hrabosky, #2 often relied on the assistance of others to get over.
First, Dennis Talbott, a Columbus businessman and a freelance sports photographer, hit the ring with several Columbus area auto dealers to deliver a beatdown on Hrabosky. Afterwards, #2 posed and signed off on memorabilia before returning to the match while Tressel was off signing autographs on his books Life Promises for Success: Promises from God on Achieving Your Best and The Winners Manual For The Game of Life.
Then Edward Rife, a Columbus tattoo parlor owner, nails Hrabosky from behind with a steel chair. Tressel again was preoccupied, this time checking his email, to notice.
#2 then got the easy pin at the five minute mark. Afterwards, #2 demanded his own dressing room, a new car, and the letter “M” stricken from the alphabet.
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In other news from last night:
-Democrats came out of a meeting regarding Anthony Weiner going “Ewwwww…”
-Pop star Shakira made a guest appearance on a pole and made some Democrats feel much better…and Republicans and Independents, too.
-A video was played of PCW Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot appeared.
WTF went to Delta Airlines world headquarters, marched to the of the CEO, lifted him up and turned him upside down, and shook out the $2,800 in extra fees charged to American soldiers flying Delta and returning from Afghanistan.
- Bill Clinton emerges from another Democratic meeting concerning the Anthony Weiner situation. His response: “Ewwwwww…” He then asked if Shakira was still in the building.
-And things begin to heat up on the Republican side as Ed Rollins, heading up Michele Bachmann’s campaign for PCW CEO, takes a swipe at ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin, calling her ‘not serious.’
Palin aide Michael Grassner then cut a promo on Rollins: “Beltway political strategist Ed Rollins has a long, long track record of taking high profile jobs and promptly sticking his foot in his mouth. To no one’s surprise he has done it again, while also fueling a contrived narrative about the PCW CEO race by the mainstream media. One would expect that his woodshed moment is coming and that a retraction will be issued soon.”
Rollins then tried to reel it back in…”This was my one comment, which I shouldn’t have made, at the end of the day this has nothing to do with Michele, Michele’s campaign, or any of the rest of it,” he said. “This was my transition from being an analyst to a political strategist, and I missed a step.”Former Ohio State Football Coach Jim 'The Vest' Tressel made his managerial... more
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Latest Complete Sports News Updates Mr Jim Tressel will no longer be the head football coach at Ohio State University after the Sugar Bowl against Arkansas.Latest Complete Sports News Updates Mr Jim Tressel will no longer be the head football... more
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Latest Complete News Updates Mr Jim Tressel’s number. Because it’s about time a Michigan coach had his. In what could be a Christmas Day 2010 bombshell, rumors are starting to swirl that Ohio State coach Mr Jim Tressel will be leaving after the Sugar Bowl.Latest Complete News Updates Mr Jim Tressel’s number. Because it’s about... more
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