tagged w/ joshuaheller
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I am a victim. I've been duped more times than anyone I know by an insidious scheme trolling the internet: The Rickroll.
The rickroll achieved widespread popularity by the fall of 2008. This internet phenomenon officially jumped the shark when Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi made a video rickrolling constituents.
In this post-rickroll era, I've been attacked more than a dozen times. The culprit, one man. A friend who'd been (involuntarily) off-the-grid. I suspect when he was reintegrated into the general population he discovered this meme, and has been duping me ever since. I've become wary of every link he sends me, but yesterday, he got me again.
My name is Josh Heller, and I was telephone rickrolld.
For an extensive study on rickrolling visit Know Your Meme.I am a victim. I've been duped more times than anyone I know by an insidious... more
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People call things FAILs, when they aren’t FAILworthy at all. I attempt to find WINness in everything. This is another edition of some FAILs that I don’t think are really FAILs.
There is no way that this is a FAIL. The composition is incredible! The magenta borders really accent the figure's thighs.
At this level of competitive gameplay, your opponents will distract you with anything they can think of. If you succumb to that alleged-WIN in the corner, you will FAIL.
These firefighters are hardworking professionals. They work long hours, to do jobs most of us couldn't. But lunch starts at noon, everyday. No exceptions!
I know you think puns are stupid, but that's when humans think of them. It's amazing that this cat can even comprehend puns, let alone write one. She calls this performance "CAT-ctus". What further brilliance can we expect from this tiny feline?
This picture points out the inadequacies of the tenure system at American universities. Facts change over time, and professors must adapt. I say hire new instructors, so we can finally find out what 4 & 3 make.
I know you don't support Canadian autonomy, but this is a joke. The owners of this laminated sheet are humorously noting the nuances of Canadian English. You should learn for yourself. One day you might want to convince a girl from Edmonton, that you're from Calgary, and you do not want to slip up.
Hey buddy don't worry, you're still safe. That's not her real mouth. She's just wearing a mask with a cartoon face on it. She's not going to infect you.
Catch up on your FAILs that aren’t FAILS.
- Some FAILs that I don't think are FAILs #16
- SFTIDTAF #15
- SFTIDTAF #14
- SFTIDTAF #13
- SFTIDTAF #12
- More STIDTAF
People call things FAILs, when they aren’t FAILworthy at all. I attempt to find... more
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So, some people like to call things FAILs, when they aren’t FAILs at all. I try to look for the glimmer of goodness in everything, so this is another edition of some FAILs that I don’t think are really FAILs.
This isn't so much of a FAIL as it is a supreme dedication to irony. Some might say "your child will be seriously injured if he IS NOT wearing a helmet." This father says "my child will be seriously injured because he IS wearing a helmet."
Before the internet, the only way police agencies caught child predators was by selling fake copies of child pornography at Sam Goody. When Sam Goody filed for bankruptcy, they had to develop new strategies.
This is not a FAIL. If you support diversity, you should support Pepsi's first furry / s&m spokesmodel. This is a huge development for that community.
Yes, they wrote SAFETY SHOP in Impact font. Yes, that is the font most associated with FAILs. That does not make this picture FAIL worthy.
This is only a FAIL if the woman visits the Serengeti. She will either be confused for an ostrich, and mauled by lions. Or she will be confused for a lioness, and join their den. This isn't so bad but I bet it'd be really hard to check your e-mail.
Okay, I'll admit it... that's an ugly statue. FAIL accepted!
Are you really going to be the person to tell this guy that his head-sized muscle is a FAIL? If he finds your IP address, it's squashing time.
Catch up on your FAILs that aren’t FAILS.
- Some FAILs that I don't think are FAILs #15
- SFTIDTAF #14
- SFTIDTAF #13
- SFTIDTAF #12
- More STIDTAF
So, some people like to call things FAILs, when they aren’t FAILs at all. I try... more
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So everyone knows that I am totally hilarious, as well as a brilliant writer. Not everyone is aware that I'm also one of the coolest dudes who works for the internet. How does one measure coolness? Aside from impeccable style (I can assure you that I do wear Chuck Taylors and ironic sweaters) you are cool based on what music you listen to.
I've visited Brooklyn Vegan and I listen to Morning Becomes Eclectic. I've heard tons of cool dude jams. So this is my playlist of great songs from this year.
1. The Gossip - Heavy Cross
I saw naked posters of Beth Ditto on the streets of London, when I was doing a quick stint at the offices of Current UK. I was all like "wow they are much more tolerant in England to let her be a sex symbol." I realized that statement made me seem like a sexist body fascist, so when someone handed The Gossip's album to me, I gave an earnest listen. Then I was all like "I now understand why she's a sex symbol." It's a disco album played with punk rock instruments. Plus it's produced by Rick Rubin. I liked it so much that I tweeted about it.
2. Baaba Maal - Television
Baaba Maal is a Senegalese superstar, who has crafted this beautiful song. It packs a simple guitar riff with lots of percussive shakers, and the women singing things in French that I can almost understand. I believe "Télévision" translates to "TV" in anglais. I wonder if all Senegalese TV is as surreal as this.
3. IMS - Yo Digo Baila
I love this Instituto Mexicano del Sonido track. Techno basslines accented by tuba samples, kills it every time. A few months ago I wrote about rebajadas, a genre of slowed-down Cumbias in Northern Mexico. I emailed IMS to ask if he thought my correlation to Houton's Chopp'd and Screwed was accurate. He wrote back saying that I was totally wrong. He was really nice about it though.
4. Jay-Z - Empire State of Mind
So here's the part of my cool dude list, where I laud mainstream rap music, as if to tell my compatriots that hip hop is cool for hipsters to like. But you already knew that this is one of the best tracks of the year. Perhaps you don't have those same nostalgic feelings that I have for New York, but surely you can agree that this is the best anthem for the piano since Bennie and The Jets. If that doesn't get you, did you know there are allegations that Jay-Z is a freemason planning a New World Order?
5. Chairlift - Bruises
6. Matt & Kim - Daylight
Okay so I put both these songs on my 2009 list, but I feel like a real jerk because they both came out in 2008. As a consolation I did listen to them in 2009 also.
7. Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros - Home
Maybe it's just because I live in Los Angeles, but this is the most buzzed about band in these parts. There are like nine hundred members in this band. This song sounds like a party at my parent's non-existent cabin in the foothills of Mount Shasta. Everyone showed up in a great mood with instruments, and whiskey. I tried to see these guys on Halloween, but we ended up waiting too long for Macaroni and Cheese sandwiches, and missed 95% of their set. There's always 2010.
8. Sleigh Bells - Ring Ring
Dude, you're clipping. That's what happens when you record louder than the recording device can record. Sleigh Bells doesn't give a shit. The lady-part of this duo was a teen popstar-turned-teacher. The dude was in a hardcore band. This song is so addictive. I guess its those rappy vocals over that Funkadelic sample. I think this band will get huge in 2010. I mean they were able to get industry bigwigs watch them perform late at night in Bushwick.
9. Fanfarlo - Harold T. Wilkins, Or How To Wait For A Very Long Time
Oh snap upon further research this jam came out in 2008 too. I'm beginning to look like a not very cool dude.
10. Grizzly Bear - Two Weeks
Clearly Brian Wilson cloned himself, and sent this clone to infiltrate the Brooklyn music scene. Grizzly Bear is the result. Thank you for this track, science.
11. SALEM x Gucci Mane - Round One
This dark ethereal remix of dope rap, is sublime. I listened to it so many times. If I were writing a dramatic promo for this track this would be the copy: “In 1999 people used to make jokes about electroclash/gangsta rap remixes. In 2009 people stopped joking.”
12. Phoenix - 1901
I know that Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix is on everyone's "best of list." To make this "best of list" different I made sure to put their second most popular song, so as to increase my indie credibility. But this song is still really good.
13. The xx - Islands
This is one of those songs that was playing everywhere I went, and it took me months to realize that it was the xx. Now that I figured it out, I know why they will become superstars.
14. Woods - Rain On
This is cinematic music, even if you aren't making a movie. You can listen to this song on your iPod walking down a rainy street, and feel like your life is somehow more meaningful. I mean it's not any more meaningful, it'll just seem that way, and perception is 9/10ths of the law.
15. Fool’s Gold - Surprise Hotel
Which white band performing African pop do you like the best? My answer is LA based Fool's Gold, because they know how to party a lot better than those stuffy Columbia grads, Vampire Weekend.
16. Dan Deacon - Snookered
I used to say that Dan Deacon is what would happen to me if I let myself go. That's not entirely true. Though I would be more fat and bald, I still wouldn't be able to make beautiful music from broken children's instruments. This eight-minute behemoth builds in a way you wouldn't necessarily expect from the man behind Crystal Cat.
17. Kid British - Sunny Days
This song sounds like it was recorded by Electric Light Orchestra, if they knew how to rap. The lyrics are about a dude who is sad, but you wouldn't know that by the upbeat nature of this jam. Why not get the whole album, and impress all your stateside friends.
That's my list. I'd like to wish a happy new year to cool dudes and ladies everywhere.So everyone knows that I am totally hilarious, as well as a brilliant writer. Not... more
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Sometimes people decide to call things FAILs, when they aren’t really that FAIL. I try to find the good in everything, so this is another edition of some FAILs that I don’t think are really FAILs.
Current.com user Smurph25 and his whole family are on the right track in thinking that this is not a FAIL. The building simply wants to keep some things in and some things out. They want to make sure that people can enter, and that elephants cannot. Just because you escaped from the zoo, does not mean you are welcome in our courtyard.
FAIL really? Okay so maybe you didn't like the movie when you first saw it. And maybe you didn't like it when your roommate Evan quoted it every five minutes. But you totally loved it when you watched it again. It happened to me. As for the tattoo, totally legit, but he should have added to it, like with some cool dude sunglasses or something.
Not a FAIL. There's only one proctologist on the North Pole. Sure he's a snow man, but he is totally qualified. That being said, I do agree that it's a bit unprofessional to have a doctor's office in the middle of Target, but hey it's one of the few places on the North Pole with ample lighting.
Oh are you that dedicated to buying things? I thought you were anti-capitalist. I saw you at the anarchist bookstore ranting about Abbie Hoffman's concept of The Free Store and now you're railing fun of people who embody this ethic? Shame on you, and the hypocritical values you embody. You sir are the FAIL in this scenario.
This item costs £1.99, which signifies that this is a British product. British English is funny, they call astronauts: pirates. Conversely, Blackbeard is the most famous astronaut in all of Britain.
This is absolutely not a FAIL. This is part of Azerbaijani Prime Minister Artur Rasizade's campaign to put a McDonald's in every home.
Who cares about your cooking sheet, the cookies are ready!
FAIL? Yeah right! This baby's dad probably got so many high fives from this hilarious picture he took of his son reading this Lads' mag.Sometimes people decide to call things FAILs, when they aren’t really that FAIL.... more
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Two years ago today, I started working at Current.com.
This is my first webcam response everrrrrrrrrrr.
My first comment being employed by current.com:
"Guilt Free Venture Capitalist! I need some capital first".
This was the first item I clipped to Current.com staffer Pot slang from the Ave... 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Since starting at Current TV two years ago, I've traveled to 7 countries while on the clock (if you consider Puerto Rico, a separate country), I've worked from nearly every Current TV office (I'm missing Milan), I've become an all around internet expert.
Thank you for all the support CDC!
joshuahellerTwo years ago today, I started working at Current.com.
This is my first webcam... more
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Sometimes people decide to call things FAILs, when they aren’t really that FAIL. I try to find the glimmer of goodness in everything, so this is another edition of some FAILs that I don’t think are really FAILs.
I'm not very familiar with Sailor Moon, but how could this costume be a FAIL, if I recognized that he was dressed as Sailor Moon? The costume clearly is effective, so it is a WIN.
Yeah right. How could having fun with the WHOLE family possibly be a FAIL?
This person didn't FAIL at locking their wi-fi signal, they WIN at figuring out how to name their network. Nobody can use my signal without a password, but it's still called LINKSYS, and creativity is what counts in this world.
Yeah I get it, they spelled "your" AND "for" wrong, but they spelled 1/5th of the words correctly!
The cat always asks if he can haz cheeseburger. What does he do when he finally gets it? He takes a bite, and then goes back to eating cat food. C'mon bro, that's a waste of $1.25. FAIL.
I'm not a building inspector, so I'm not concerned that those thermoses over the counter don't adhere to municipal standards. Big whoop maybe, but FAIL definitely not.
The wrath of Venom is something that Spider Man might fear, but why should we? Perhaps this is only a FAIL because this person hasn't made the switch from VHS to DVD. Consider that DVD itself is a dead format though, maybe he streams video through NetFlix. Duh.
I know what you're thinking. This is a FAIL, because the architect is invoking ideas from Ionic temple design, while implementing columns from the Corinthian period. Well first off, we aren't all Greek architectural scholars, bro. And secondly, it's not totally inconceivable that early Corinthian architecture might use Ionic structure, as that was the previously dominant style.
Check out the previous editions:
Some FAILs that I don't think are FAILs #1
Some FAILs that I don't think are FAILs #2Sometimes people decide to call things FAILs, when they aren’t really that FAIL.... more
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