Tech | December 17, 2009 | 60 comments

Was mother tweeting while child was dying?

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Future_America
Shellie Ross is a popular blogger, who chronicles her life as a mother of four, and the wife of an Air Force sergeant, and whose Twitter account, @Military_Mom, has more than 5,400 followers.

She was Tweeting from her Florida home at 5:22pm Monday about how foggy it was. At 5:30PM she called 911 saying her son, Bryson, was lying at the bottom of the pool.

At 6:12 p.m. she tweeted again: “Please pray like never before, my 2 yr old fell in the pool.” And five hours later, she wrote that she was “remembering my million dollar baby,” posting photos of the little boy. (Some of these tweets and photos have since been removed.)

Shortly thereafter, there was strong reaction from the Twitter community about the timeline, and whether the mom was too busy communicating with the rest of the world to pay attention to her child. Florida Today quotes a woman who lives hundreds of miles away who attacked Ross:

Madison McGraw, who does not know the Ross family, tweeted about the incident and also posted an item on her blog, at www.madisonmcgraw.com, titled “Mom Tweets While Son Drowns.”

“The person that I have compassion for is her son — who might still be alive if (Ross) interacted with her son like she interacted with people on Twitter,” McGraw wrote. “To me, that shows the repercussions for social media gone awry.”

But Lisa Belkin of the New York Times puts it in perspective.

…Ross’ tweets are not an example of the misuse of the internet, but rather of its potential and power. It’s the critics, not Ross, that show the technology’s dark side. As Peter Post, great-grandson of etiquette expert Emily Post and director of the Vermont-based Emily Post Institute, told Kimberly C. Moore, a reporter from Florida Today, “I’m not sure this is the appropriate time or place to be chastising anyone.”
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60 comments // Was mother tweeting while child was dying?

  • Elligirl
    • 0
      Elligirl  
    • She could have very well been playing video games on her phone or cooking in the kitchen. Regardless of what she was doing, she WASN'T watching her child. It's only because we have proof of her activities via her tweets that there is outrage.

    • 2 years ago
  • SB420
    • 0
      SB420  
    • This is a ridiculous thing to make such a big deal out of. Sure a kid died, but you can't probe shit like this for some deeper meaning. the whole "dark side of technology" thing really pissed me off. The woman was twittering so she didn't notice her kid fall in the pool. End of story. It's called an accident. Stop playing the blame game. And fuck twitter.

    • 2 years ago
  • animaladvocate
    • 0
      animaladvocate  
    • what can I say? this lady probably could have saved her child while she twittered how foggy it was (who really gives a f anyway), he probably was just starting to drown at the same time. I have never gotten into twitter and I don't really understand the popularity. Who really cares what people are doing every second. People who tweet, think they have a life but their tweets prove that they don't. That poor little boy is dead because his mother is an f-ing moron.

    • 2 years ago
  • mixmaster
    • 0
      mixmaster  
    • thats what it is a bunch of fake plastic people interacting, hiding behind false impresions trying to see larger than life gossipping and following somebodyelses life forgetting about your own fuk twitter

    • 2 years ago
  • pmurph364
    • 0
      pmurph364  
    • Something is very wrong with the whole story. Any person who has been around women and the children in a high stress or critical time would know that if this is a early version that after Police look into the matter and determine much more about the drowning of the baby.Were there webcams at the pool? Was there a fence? Gate?Other witness to events?
      Normal moms on seeing the baby would have forgot all about the phone and if they could not swim would have been franticly looking for anything from emergency equipment that pools require to a rope or anything to get the child up.
      Many in fact most would have jumped in the water and tried to save the baby.Even at the risk of drowning them selves.
      Had this happened in the hood the authorities would still been questioning the woman when the latter tweets went out or at the very least observing the behavior of any one around at the time.
      That last tweet cited.

      million dollar baby,

      Jumps off the page, how many have planned, plotted and tried to profit from today's internet? Balloon with boy inside,fake stories of cancer and tragedy to get cash. yes the
      million dollar baby phrase what was the thought process there, my little Angle, maybe
      Yes if the mom was 16 years old in the hood I doubt she would be free right now.
      Ever tried to use a computer or text in a emergency, it's not easy.

    • 2 years ago
  • HowdyDo
    • 0
      HowdyDo  
    • Give the woman a break - her kid drowned and I don't think it was because she was Twittering. Everyone grieves differently - this woman chose to do so via Twitter

    • 2 years ago
  • 2helenahandbasket
  • sethmyers
    • 0
      sethmyers  
    • I bet something just like this happened right after the first telephone was invented. Blame stupid people, not technology.

      Social Darwinism rulz!

    • 2 years ago
  • Andrew_Fusco
  • reallybigname
    • 0
      reallybigname  
    • I don't see how her using Twitter is any different than if she were watching TV, ironing clothes, cooking food, etc... Should we blame TV, ironing boards, and Cuisinarts??? The only thing you can blame is the lady for not paying attention. And, this isn't like this is the first time its ever happened. Kids die in pools all the time. Its just the first time that Twitter was involved, so all of a sudden, its news?

    • 2 years ago
  • The_Mack
    • 0
      The_Mack  
    • I dont see an obvious correlation between twitter and this childs drowning. There is an 8 minute gap between the first tweet and the 911 call. Plenty of time for the child to make its way outside, fall in the pool, and drown. Maybe she updated from her cell phone. Who is to say she wasnt holding the child while writing that first update? She could have put the child down and it could have sat there playing with toys. She then goes to use the bathroom, and the child follows the dog outside and falls in the pool. She spends the next 5 minutes searching the house for the child before finding him at the bottom of the pool. She rescues the child, calls 911, and the paramedics arrive and take the child and mother to the hospital. On the way, she updates her twitter from her cellphone, hoping that massive amounts of prayer will help save her child. 5 hours later, after grieving over her loss, she shares the bad news with the world. Grieving technique? Perhaps.

      I see no reason why anyone should think this woman was tweeting while her child was dying. If you ask me, my scenario seems much more likely than any other.

      Have some compassion for this woman. She lost her child. Quit making her out to be evil. People make mistakes, and unfortunately this one led to the loss of her son. Respect her at very least.

    • 2 years ago
  • J_Jammer
  • div
    • 0
      div  
    • The_Mack:

      If only I could recommend comments!

      Some people here just don't understand the spontaneity of children - they can be in front of you one minute, and somewhere else the next doing something completely different. An 8 minute gap could be filled with at least 8 different things for a bored child. (Heck, it's called the terrible twos for a reason!)

    • 2 years ago
  • J_Jammer
  • goodname
    • 0
      goodname  
    • The_Mack:

      i agree that twitter isnt the problem here, and although i do feel for the woman its not easy. its understandable that children get away from you from time to time, everybody knows it can happen, but being a responsible parent you have the duty to protect your children. that means when they do get away they are not going to be on a path towards the pool, or the medicine cabinet, or the drain-o. lessons like this shouldn't have to be learned the hard way.

    • 2 years ago
  • div
    • 0
      div  
    • The_Mack:

      @ JJammer

      Me? Closer to what?

      @goodname

      Agreed. Unfortunately, sometimes when the child does break away at the first, and possibly ONLY moment that the caretaker isn't looking, it's to go to the pool, the medicine cabinet, or the drain-o.

    • 2 years ago
  • J_Jammer
  • captain_insano
  • buzzbee23
  • Zouave
  • bailey78
    • 0
      bailey78  
    • She is strung out on the twitter. They will now open a rehab for those of you that can't quit tweeting on your own. It's Ok it's not your falt. You have a disease It's called addiction. But don't worry there is a twelve step program for you Just put all the blame on your disease. That way you don't have to face the truth. That truth is you have no life of your own. That you are a self centered putz that needs to put the Phone down and make contact with real people in the real world. but it's not your falt Twitter is a drug that can not be delt with on your own. You need a group of people that have the same disease as you to tell you what to do and what to think and when to do it.

    • 2 years ago
  • nanac
    • 0
      nanac  
    • I sympathize with the mother, however she is at fault for leaving her child alone in the pool..It is a well known fact that , a two year old can't be left unattended, under no circumstances.........Only children 16 and over are permitted to swim alone...I will pray for the mother because, she will definitely need it in the years to come..

    • 2 years ago
  • bailey78
  • ozoneocean
  • NickerBocker09
    • 0
      NickerBocker09  
    • ozoneocean:

      No, she is the moron. She commented on it being foggy outside, why is her child in the pool while its foggy. A 2 year old at that.

      I dont think criticism should be sparred just because someone has lost a loved one. People need to realize what was done wrong.

    • 2 years ago
  • Nettle
    • 0
      Nettle  
    • You can't blame this on Twitter. You CAN blame this on negligence and bad parenting. She should have been keeping an eye on her kid, but it's not like she was addicted to Twitter and it consumed her every waking minute. She made a dumb mistake that she'll regret forever.

    • 2 years ago
  • dereks
  • sophosthegreat
    • 0
      sophosthegreat  
    • Yikes, thats really awful. How can someone not only neglect their child in favour of the internet and then go back to internet to update people of with what had happened.

    • 2 years ago
  • Possible_Reality
    • 0
      Possible_Reality  
    • I love the people who come to twitters defense. "REMEMBER THAT ONE STAR SAVED SOME GUYS LIFE THROUGH TWITTER?"

      Here's the thing. The women commented on it being foggy, she allowed her two year old to be out there near a pool while she wasn't around.That alone is bad parenting. I work in a nursery. To take care of children that age, you have to constantly check on them. You can't leave things open, have to have precautions, etc. It's not much harder then typing a message revolving around you directed to people who don't even give a shit.

      So when the psychologist said how no one should be blamed, that is bs. The mother should have paid more attention and done her basic job to keep her baby safe. I realize how easy it is for a child to slip into some water for a second while the mother was away, but the reason why is so outragous is the whole nature of it.

      So basically Twitter more then, somewhat equal to baby. Why is it not surprising it came to this? How many lifeless people are following and reading a talentless celebrity every post? What are they giving up? It is tradgic how that poor baby had to suffer.

    • 2 years ago
  • J_Jammer
    • 0
      J_Jammer [removed]  
    • Possible_Reality:

      See what technology has done to you? It is you who think you know what the mother should have done via your online feed....using your account here to inform everyone that you know better and this is why....technology is only a tool. It is not a weapon. The human decides how to use technology and they should be blamed accordingly.

    • 2 years ago
  • RojoGatto
  • TheBrownKid
    • 0
      TheBrownKid  
    • Twitter update: "Crap. My kid is drowning. How 2 save???"

      Really... tweeting about the status of your dying child? What's with the bad parenting posts today. . . first the 4 year old kid who drinks and now this .-.

    • 2 years ago
  • growdude420
    • 0
      growdude420  
    • As someone who grew up with a pool, I can say that CHILDREN AND POOLS ARE A DANGEROUS COMBINATION!!! The fact that they had just moved into their house makes it likely that the mother had no experience with how irresistable pools are to children. I was saved from drowning twice in my own pool before the age of five.
      Accusing the mother of negligence for issuing a statement that takes all of ten seconds is laughable. Would you feel the same if she had texted her best friend the same message?
      I hate twitter too, but remember, she asked for prayer. If, for example, she had commented on how delicious her dinner was, or how cute the doctor was who had announced her son's death, I'd say judge away! But this is NOT the case. We all need to take a deep breath, and find better ways to relieve our tensions ;-L.~

    • 2 years ago
  • goodname
    • 0
      goodname  
    • i dont know how much this has to do with the internet, or twitter. i think this woman was just a bad parent, and if it wasnt twitter it could have been something else.

    • 2 years ago
  • J_Jammer
  • oldnews
    • 0
      oldnews  
    • goodname:

      spot on. i don't think that twitter is the problem, but the fact that the mother has her priorities all wrong or has an addictive nature. if it wasn't twitter, it would have been something else. remember that over the years there have been other cases like this - parents that neglected their kids because of video games, internet forums, tv shows, and now twitter. the problem is with the parents, not the object of their fixation.

    • 2 years ago
  • flyingkick
  • EdJoyProductions
  • hardknockxpert
  • LowShred
    • 0
      LowShred  
    • So, there's an 8 minute gap between the tweet and the 911 call. Then 5 hours later, she tweets that he's dead? OK Kids, get out a pen and paper, because this is the real world and this is how these things work.

      Your body, cannot go more than 5 minutes without oxygen. A 2 year old, would probably pass out after 1 minute without it. Let alone die much quicker than the 5 minute benchmark.

      These things happen fast. What if she was upstairs helping another kid? Would we blame the kid for not being self sufficient enough to help himself? No of course not, we'd call it a tragic accident and move on to the next tragedy, pandemic or global terrorist threat of the day and go on about our business.

      But since we have something to lame, lets go ahead and do that. We haven't had a good lynch mob in a while.

    • 2 years ago
  • wellhunggimp
  • dereks
    • 0
      dereks  
    • LowShred:

      well i'm not a parent so if i'm wrong please disregard, i don't think you should leave a 2 year old unattended in a swimming pool. Also it doesn't matter if she was on twitter or on a couch t.v. watching or anything else. you can't throw your toddler in a pool and walk away.

    • 2 years ago
  • tirad84
    • 0
      tirad84  
    • LowShred:

      I agree. I don't even have a twitter account, but negligence is negligence, she could have been baking cookie, smoking crack, or practicing her Spanish. The one's who blame twitter, are the same people who blame McDonalds for people being obese. Choice are made by everyone, everyday and each choice produces an outcome (good or bad).

    • 2 years ago
  • lifestudentno83
    • 0
      lifestudentno83  
    • If technology is such a burden, break your bonds of oppression.

      Destroy your cellphone, computer, and anything else digital. Flatten that flat-screen with a sledge hammer.

      I see room for use and room for abuse. What you decide is on you.

      P.S. - The time that mother could have been diving in to save her boy after calling 911. However, she did not. She will have to live with her indecision and choice of actions for the rest of her life.

    • 2 years ago
  • J_Jammer
  • onemm24
  • jfill
  • EdJoyProductions
    • 0
      EdJoyProductions  
    • I noticed that there is a proliferation of pity seekers in the twittersphere. The good thing about this is that if it is bull shit and people are getting their pity fixes from twitter by lying about their woes instead of actually hurting their offspring for real, groovy.

      Maybe this can keep those Munchausen by proxy criminals in check.

      If it is a true story, this mom is never going to forgive herself when she comes to the realization of what a shallow, pointless waste of life she was as her baby died.

    • 2 years ago
  • hardknockxpert
  • EdJoyProductions
  • EmperorThan
  • hardknockxpert
  • 02
  • TrevTar
  • CalgarC
  • meannport
  • J_Jammer
    • 0
      J_Jammer [removed]  
    • CalgarC:

      I know. Especially people getting their news from a website instead of actually walking to where the news is and seeing it for themselves and interacting with those who are part of the news.

      By the way....love Twitter. Find out things before most people because of who I follow.

    • 2 years ago
  • lifestudentno83
  • CalgarC
  • J_Jammer
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