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Colbert's DNA shot into space
Should this world ever cease to exist, Stephen Colbert will live on. The comedian's DNA will be digitized and sent to the International Space Station, Comedy Central was to announce Monday. In October, video game designer Richard Garriott will travel to the station and deposit Colbert's genes for an "Immortality Drive."
"I am thrilled to have my DNA shot into space, as this brings me one step closer to my lifelong dream of being the baby at the end of 2001," Colbert said in a statement, referring to the 1968 landmark science fiction film "2001: A Space Odyssey."
Garriott, one of few private citizens to travel into space, is collecting material for a time capsule of human DNA, a history of humanity's greatest achievements and personal messages.
The host of "The Colbert Report" will essentially be preserved so that aliens can clone him.
"In the unlikely event that Earth and humanity are destroyed, mankind can be resurrected with Stephen Colbert's DNA," Garriott said in a statement. "Is there a better person for us to turn to for this high-level responsibility?" Should this world ever cease to exist, Stephen Colbert will live on. The comedian's DNA will be digitized and sent to the Intern... more -
Colbert roasts the do nothingest Republican in Congress
This is the genius of Stephen Colbert. He interviews Lynn Westmoremorland and it is a pure roasting in the oven for the full five minutes. My favorite part is when Westmoreland admits "I have no idea..." He actually resisted acknowledging the sneaking suspicion that this Stephen Colbert character everybody has been talking about might be holding his tongue in his cheek. If he knew the word "fascicious," he might think that an apt description. It's a little embarrassing to get called out on something you are supposed to be representing and coming up empty.
Colbert should definitely do a follow-up interview with the do-nothingest democratic congressman. This is the genius of Stephen Colbert. He interviews Lynn Westmoremorland and it is a pure roasting in the oven for the full five minu... more -
Bear attacks weed farm.
Just another reason for Stephen Colbert to hate them.
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Sarah Palin: That's the Ticket
Sarah Palin needs to choose someone with the kind of credibility and executive leadership John McCain just doesn't have.
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Colbert Report - Repo Man
Democrats may see the glass as half empty, but the repo men see that you are behind payments on that glass.
The economy isn't hurting everyone. Stephen Colbert helps us uncover those business sectors booming under the Bush administration. Democrats may see the glass as half empty, but the repo men see that you are behind payments on that glass. ... more -
The joke's on McCain: Late-night comedians lay off Obama
A hilarious new study of late-night political jokes, due to be released later today, finds the network comedians clearly avoiding humor about Democratic candidate Barack Obama, while piling the jokes on President Bush and Sens. John McCain and Hillary Clinton.
The study by the Center for Media and Public Affairs finds that only cable's Comedy Central, whose primary comedians, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, more closely follow the day's headlines -- which have been dominated by Obama -- has slightly more jokes about the freshman Illinois senator.
The center found that the network shows broadcast only 169 jokes about Obama, compared to 428 about Bush. McCain drew 328 jokes. Hillary Clinton, who dropped out of the presidential race and much political news in early June, still drew more than twice as many attempted yuk lines (382) as Obama.
On Comedy Central, Obama and McCain were close, with 207 and 201 respectively, while Clinton and Bush nearly tied at 179 and 177 respectively.
Combining the laugh lines from all five shows, Bush was the....
:...most mocked, with 605; Clinton had 562; McCain got 549; and Obama trailed, with 382.
Letterman had the most fun at Clinton's expense, with 146 jokes about her and only 46 about Obama. Leno had the most Bush jokes (208), with Clinton right behind at 204.
Colbert worked McCain over the most, with 129 jokes, compared to 91 for Obama and 79 on Clinton. An example: "It's time the media started trumpeting McCain's exciting story. He's old, and no one likes him."
The study did not explore why Obama got off so lightly on the network shows from New York and Burbank. So we'll all just have to guess: Probably out of simple respect for Obama's long public service. A hilarious new study of late-night political jokes, due to be released later today, finds the network comedians clearly avoiding humo... more -
Stephen Colbert takes on the Press and Bush IN PERSON
Stephen Colbert, speaking at the White House Correspondents' Dinner in 2006, didn't pull any punches in speaking truthiness to power.
Some excerpts (from http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/stephencolbert/a/col...
"Now, I know there are some polls out there saying that this man has a 32% approval rating. But guys like us, we don't pay attention to the polls. We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in "reality." And reality has a well-known liberal bias."
"... I am appalled to be surrounded by the liberal media that is destroying America... Over the last five years you people were so good, over tax cuts, WMD intelligence, the effect of global warming. We Americans didn't want to know, and you had the courtesy not to try to find out. But, listen, let's review the rules. The President makes decisions. The press secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions down." Stephen Colbert, speaking at the White House Correspondents' Dinner in 2006, didn't pull any punches in speaking truthiness ... more -
Is Jon Stewart the Most Trusted Man in America?
A sane voice in a noisy red-blue echo chamber, Mr. Stewart displays an impatience with the platitudes of both the right and the left and a disdain for commentators who, as he made clear in a famous 2004 appearance on CNN’s “Crossfire,” parrot party-line talking points and engage in knee-jerk shouting matches. He has characterized Democrats as “at best Ewoks,” mocked Mr. Obama for acting as though he were posing for “a coin” and hailed MoveOn.org sardonically for “10 years of making even people who agree with you cringe.”
To the former NBC anchor Tom Brokaw, Mr. Stewart serves as “the citizens’ surrogate,” penetrating “the insiders’ cult of American presidential politics.” He’s the Jersey Boy and ardent Mets fan as Mr. Common Sense, pointing to the disconnect between reality and what politicians and the news media describe as reality, channeling the audience’s id and articulating its bewilderment and indignation. He’s the guy willing to say the emperor has no clothes, to wonder why in Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton’s “It’s 3 a.m.” ad no one picks up the phone in the White House before six rings, to ask why a preinvasion meeting in March 2003 between President Bush and his allies took all of an hour — the “time it takes LensCrafters to make you a pair of bifocals” to discuss “a war that could destroy the global order.”
“The Daily Show” boasts a deep bench when it comes to its writing, research and production and has provided a showcase for a host of gifted comedians who have gone on to other careers — most notably, Stephen Colbert of “The Colbert Report,” as well as Mr. Carell, Rob Corddry and Ed Helms. But while the show is a collaborative effort, as one producer noted, it is “ultimately Jon’s vision and voice.”
“Jon’s ability to consume and process information is invaluable,” said Mr. Colbert. He added that Mr. Stewart is “such a clear thinker” that he’s able to take “all these data points of spin and transparent falsehoods dished out in the form of political discourse” and “fish from that what is the true meaning, what are red herrings, false leads,” even as he performs the ambidextrous feat of “making jokes about it” at the same time. A sane voice in a noisy red-blue echo chamber, Mr. Stewart displays an impatience with the platitudes of both the right and the left a... more -
Kids say O'Reilly is a hypocrite.
Too Much Joy once sang, "My father said, 'Now son, never tattle never lie,' but I think he should have followed some of his own advice." That's the key principle at work in Brave New Films' latest offering, which ably points out how much of the foundational advice offered by Fox News' Bill O'Reilly to our nation's children are directives that Papa Bear Blowhard has never been able to follow himself. As with most of BNF's entries in this series, the film is titled "Fox Attacks Kids," but it's hilariously clear that this isn't a fair fight at all, as the children in the video all see right through O'Reilly's dense-headed hypocrisies. Bonus points for the Nas guest appearance. Please enjoy the video, and take heart in the next generation! Too Much Joy once sang, "My father said, 'Now son, never tattle never lie,' but I think he should have followed some of... more
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Stephen Colbert: HACK THE DEMOCRATIC CONVENTION! (Video)
As revenge for the Democrats sabotage of his own presidential aspirations, Stephen Colbert calls his minions to action!
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New spider species named for Colbert
A trapdoor spider species found along the coast of California last year is the new eight-legged tribute to Stephen Colbert. How will the faux conservative talk show host take this news?
Viewers of the Comedy Central show "The Colbert Report" will find out Wednesday when East Carolina University biologist Jason Bond appears as a guest. Bond specializes in spiders and millipedes. He and students study both new and known species and provide names for the new ones.
Colbert's namesake is Aptostichus stephencolberti. Because Colbert doesn't pronounce the "t" in his last name, it will also be silent in the spider's name.
Colbert demanded that a spider species carry his name after learning that Bond named a spider for rocker Neil Young. A trapdoor spider species found along the coast of California last year is the new eight-legged tribute to Stephen Colbert. How will ... more -
Toby Keith's Pro-Lynching Publicity Tour Hits Colbert, CBS and More
I don't know what to think about this just yet. Some of the lyrics in his song "Beer for my Horses" play out as this:
Grandpappy told my pappy back in my day, son
A man had to answer for the wicked that he'd done
Take all the rope in Texas
Find a tall oak tree, round up all of them bad boys
Hang them high in the street
For all the people to see
It doesn't necessarily talk about race but it is terrible to bring up a form of punishment that was used against Blacks and of course, with the Leo Frank incident, against a Jew. What do you think? A non-issue? No meaning in the song? Or is there something hateful in all this? I don't know what to think about this just yet. Some of the lyrics in his song "Beer for my Horses" play out as this: ... more -
Stephen Colbert on White Male Oppression - Esquire
"Who knows? With John McCain as our ghostly white beacon to guide us, we may finally re-reach that mountaintop, walk into one of the two Starbucks up there, order a half-caf (maybe an almond croissant), and proudly proclaim,
“Free at last, free-er at last, thank God Almighty, we are free-est at last!”"
While Colbert is obviously being satirical, there are many who claim white male oppression.
Is the white man being victimized? "Who knows? With John McCain as our ghostly white beacon to guide us, we may finally re-reach that mountaintop, walk into one of ... more -
Rush (no, not him) to guest on 'Colbert'
Rush will be appearing on "The Colbert Report," and it's not Limbaugh.
The Canadian band Rush, which hasn't performed on U.S. television in more than three decades, will play their classic "Tom Sawyer" on the Comedy Central show Wednesday (11:30 p.m. EST). The Geddy Lee-led trio, which is currently on tour, hasn't played on U.S. television since 1975. Rush will be appearing on "The Colbert Report," and it's not Limbaugh. ... more -
The Colbert Report's "make-McCain-exciting greenscreen-challenge"
Stephen Colbert challenges you to 'make McCain exciting'. Here are a few of the entries. Please post any more that you like.
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McCain's Easy Pass
Great analysis of how McCain showed he's a lightweight on economic policy and not such a straight talker at his recent NYC town hall meeting. Great analysis of how McCain showed he's a lightweight on economic policy and not such a straight talker at his recent NYC town h... more
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Blasting Holes in the Constitution!
Stephen interviews the Brady Campaign for Gun Control in part 3 of his 35,000 part series Better Know a Lobby
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Newsflash: Twitter's Stephen Colbert outed as fake
We all knew it was unlikely, but the real Colbert has been known to keep closely connected to all things involving the Internets. I mean, this is after all the guy who set the video uploading world into a tizzy with the Stephen Colbert Green Screen Challenge, right?
So many Star Wars Kid jokes, so little time. Well, for those who weren't in the know, someone has been "tweeting" as StephenTColbert on Twitter, and his rhetoric was fairly convincing.
Check this one out: http://twitter.com/StephenTColbert/statuses/813625113
Or this one: http://twitter.com/StephenTColbert/statuses/813589411
Or better yet, this one: http://twitter.com/StephenTColbert/statuses/813149340
Anyways, he was outed by Comedy Central Insider, the show confirmed that the real Colbert dost not tweeteth, and as a result the faker has posted a tumblr blog explaining the whole ordeal: http://fakestephencolbert.tumblr.com/
Pretty funny stuff, but the timing is a little unfortunate. I'm hoping this doesn't die down too quickly, as it would be hilarious to see the real Colbert address his Nation regarding the controversy. We all knew it was unlikely, but the real Colbert has been known to keep closely connected to all things involving the Internets. I me... more -
Stephen Colbert Mocks O’Reilly Outburst
As if the first outburst wasn't bad enough....
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