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Run! No, Run Away!
July 16, 2008, Italy) Ivece Plattner, 68, was queued at a traffic light in his Porsche Cayenne sportscar. Before one reaches the light, there is a railroad crossing. As you might imagine, given Murphy's law, a train was coming.
The man did not let the queue progress forward far enough before he crossed the railroad. The safety bars came down, leaving the Porsche trapped on the rails. It took the driver awhile to realize he was stuck, according to witnesses. Finally, he jumped from the car and started to run -- toward the oncoming train, waving his arms in an attempt to save his car!
The attempt was successful. The car received less damage than its owner. He was pushed hard enough to land 30 meters away, and attempts to revive him were unsuccessful.
The moral of the story? Momentum always wins.
Article from darwinawards.com July 16, 2008, Italy) Ivece Plattner, 68, was queued at a traffic light in his Porsche Cayenne sportscar. Before one reaches the light... more -
The Balloon Priest
20 April 2008, Atlantic Ocean, Brazil) In 1982 Lawn Chair Larry, beloved survivor of a Darwin-worthy attempt, attached 45 helium weather balloons to his comfortable Sears lawn chair, packed a picnic and a , and cut the tether. But instead of drifting lazily above the Los Angeles landscape, the combined lift of 45 huge helium balloons rocketed Larry into LAX air traffic lanes 16,000 feet above sea level. Astoundingly, he survived the "flight."
In homage to Larry's aerial adventure, a Catholic priest recently ascended towards heaven on a host of helium party balloons. Adelir Antonio de Carli, 41, was attempting to set the world record for clustered balloon flight to publicize his plan to build a spiritual rest stop for truckers.
Sitting for more than 19 hours in a lawn chair is not a trivial matter, even in the comfort of your own backyard. The priest took numerous safety precautions, including wearing a survival suit, selecting a buoyant chair, and packing a satellite phone and a GPS. However, the late Adelir Antonio made a fatal mistake.
He did not know how to use the GPS.
The winds changed, as winds do, and he was blown inexorably toward open sea. He could have parachuted to safety while over land, but chose not to. When the voyager was perilously lost at sea, he prudently phoned for help. But rescuers were unable to reach him since he could not use his GPS! HE struggled with the control panel as the charge on the satellite phone dwindled.
Instead of a GPS, the priest let God be his guide, and God guided him straight to heaven. Bits of balloons began appearing on mountains and beaches. Ultimately the priest's body surfaced, confirming that he, like Elvis, had left the building.
Article from darwinawards.com 20 April 2008, Atlantic Ocean, Brazil) In 1982 Lawn Chair Larry, beloved survivor of a Darwin-worthy attempt, attached 45 helium weath... more -
Chemistry Went To Her Head
(2 February 2008, Bulgaria) It was a cold but sunny February afternoon. Lidia, a biology teacher from Sofia, was driving two friends home from a memorial service. Suddenly the vehicle stopped. Bystanders saw all three occupants dash from the car to a nearby manhole, and start pouring down liquids and powders from various bottles and jars.
Apparently, the biology teacher had been performing chemistry experiments in her free time, and had some leftover noxious chemicals. It is still not entirely clear what the chemicals were, but two of the bottles were labelled diethyl ether and methanol, both highly flammable substances. The former is also used as a sedative, so one explanation for their actions is that they felt dizzy from the ether vapors and thought it was a good idea to pour them in the sewer.
As it turns out, a good idea it definitely was not. The cocktail of flammable substances in the enclosed space of the sewer caused an explosion so powerful that it launched the manhole cover into the air, decapitating the (briefly) surprised Lidia. Left without a head on her shoulders, she decided it was time to kick the bucket.
The other two people were not left unharmed, but were alive. They were taken to the hospital with burns on their faces. They may not regain their eyesight, but hopefully will be able to speak clearly enough to tell their children that tossing random chemicals down the drain is not as wise as it might at first appear.
Article from darwinawards.com (2 February 2008, Bulgaria) It was a cold but sunny February afternoon. Lidia, a biology teacher from Sofia, was driving two friends h... more -
Teen decapitated at Six Flags over Georgia
A 17-year-old boy jumped over two-six-feet tall fences to gain access to the ride area.
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17 teenage girls had a pact to get pregnant
Teenage pregnancies took a sudden upturn at Gloucester High School in Massachussets but no one expected to hear half of the 17 pregnant teenagers admitting to making a pact to get pregnant and raise their babies together.
Principal Joseph Sullivan said that wasn't the most shocking of facts about this strange case, "We found out one of the fathers is a 24-year-old homeless guy," he told Time Magazine in an interview.
Officials at the school began to worry when there was a sudden rise in the number of girls asking for pregnancy tests with the girls being more upset to find out they weren't pregnant than if they were. Teenage pregnancies took a sudden upturn at Gloucester High School in Massachussets but no one expected to hear half of the 17 pregnan... more -
My friend told me putting sand in my engine would help...
"He wanted to let the engine suck in the sand through the intake so it would port it out and then push it out the exhaust so it would port the exhaust manifold.
I was worried that it might cause problems but he figured it'd be OK as long as we didn't make boost and it get sucked in the turbo.
After running the car and letting it suck in sand we got about half way through a 25 lb bag. The check engine light was on and the engine was bucking and kicking and sounding really weird.
We stopped and hooked the car back up normal and took off the sand supply. We tried to start it again and it was really hard. Once started it couldn't idle and kept making weird noises. We took it out and drove it and it started to make scraping and knocking noises." "He wanted to let the engine suck in the sand through the intake so it would port it out and then push it out the exhaust so it w... more -
Drunk Man Sleeps Through Being Run Over By Train
And yes, he survived. The drunk Australian passed out on the tracks and a freight train that came barreling down the tracks was unable to stop but passed over him, missing his head by inches. The man apparently woke up (as you do when a train carrying 3,000 tonnes of freight runs over you) and bumped his head on the underside of the train.
Rail spokesman, Captain Obvious, pointed out that it was 'not the best place' to take a nap and said, "It was probably lucky he was lying in such a way that the train actually went over him rather than across him."
Yeah... Probably. And yes, he survived. The drunk Australian passed out on the tracks and a freight train that came barreling down the tracks was unable... more -
Get out of the Swimming Pool....
And the gene pool while you're at it.
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Man jumps onto subway tracks to retrieve his iPhone.
Apparently this yutz dropped his iPhone off of a NYC subway platform onto the tracks and REALLY couldn't bear the thought of life without it. So he jumped onto the tracks to retrieve his precious mobile device. I'm sure that the effort was well worth the risks of the electrified third rail, rabid vermin, human, um, waste and, oh yeah, a speeding subway train. The man explains his actions in the article. Apparently this yutz dropped his iPhone off of a NYC subway platform onto the tracks and REALLY couldn't bear the thought of life... more
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The 2007 Darwin Awards Go To...
My favourite part of the year's end is the announcement of the Darwin Awards, which "commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it." Unbelievably funny. I am so glad they have an award for this. My favourite part of the year's end is the announcement of the Darwin Awards, which "commemorate those who improve our gene ... more
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Man Used Gun to Change Wheel
A US man injured himself in both legs after trying to loosen a stiff wheel-nut by shooting it with his gun. The 66-year-old man, from Washington state, was repairing his car outside his home when the accident took place. A US man injured himself in both legs after trying to loosen a stiff wheel-nut by shooting it with his gun. The 66-year-old man, from ... more
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Bin Parties
In a spasm of true British ingenuity, teenage gangs in Barnsley have been stealing, then setting fire to plastic wheelie bins. THEN they inhale the thick black poisonous fumes, thus having a hobby that ticks both boxes of drug-taking and vandalism. In a spasm of true British ingenuity, teenage gangs in Barnsley have been stealing, then setting fire to plastic wheelie bins. THEN th... more
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Drunk dad has 11 year old drive home
A father who was too drunk to drive had his 11-year-old son get behind the wheel of his pickup and drive them home.
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Robber uses Duct tape for mask
Liquor store owner uses Duct tape wrapped bat to ward him off... seriously
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