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Jesus Christ quits Christianity after viewing Republican platform
For years, Jesus Christ had kept quiet while his “followers” had killed and committed horrendous acts of intolerance in his name. They were the “birth pangs” of a new religion, his surrogates would say. One day he would be accepted by all as a liberator.
But in an announcement that has left his followers shaken, the Christ himself has come forward to announce that he is leaving Christianity, effective immediately. The reasoning: The 2008 Republican Platform. Reached for comment at a West Hollywood coffee shop, Christ said that he couldn’t deal with a world that so misinterpreted his words and actions.
“They mention the word ‘faith’ 12 times in their platform,” said Christ. “Do they think we’re idiots or something?”
Christ went on to say that he had grown tired of being portrayed as a “marauding archangel of vengeance,” and that he held out little hope that the world would ever accept his message of peace.
“There’s a new breed of Christian out there that seems to think I represent free-for-all capitalism and slaying my enemies,” said Christ, munching on an arugula quiche. “I mean, they made Isaiah into a Cold War-era strategist, for Dad’s sake. Did they even read the New Testament?”
With the 2008 U.S. Presidential election coming up in short order, many have expressed skepticism over the timing of Christ’s announcement. Reached for comment, John McCain’s campaign lobbyist Rick Davis said that his candidate would not be responding to the “obvious liberal smear.”
“John McCain has made it clear that he will not speak to or about Jesus Christ until Christ shows him the respect he deserves,” said Davis. “John McCain was a POW and deserves respect. Jesus obviously can’t understand the kind of sacrifice John McCain made.”
For his part, Democratic Presidential nominee Barack Obama has said he plans to stay above the fray.
“This is above my pay grade,” said Obama during a campaign stop in Canton, Kansas. “Way, way, way above my pay grade.”
The reaction from many political entertainers was swift. Sean Hannity of Fox News made clear his disappointment in Christ.
“Seriously, let him go,” said Hannity to co-host Sean Colmes on the popular show “Hannity & Colmes” on Fox News. “If he doesn’t have the courage to face up to the Republican platform, how can he ever stand up to Osama bin Laden. This is a partisan attack, plain and simple.”
In response, Colmes vehemently disagreed with Hannity.
“But, but, but … , ” said Colmes.
The major religious corporations of the world have yet to comment on Christ’s decision. At the Vatican Web site, a simple message appeared: “Thank you for allowing us time to reflect on this matter. Pray for us, and know that we need your tithing now more than ever.”
Many devout Christians have stated that Christ’s abandonment will not affect their faith.
“Jesus Christ is the one true savior and those who don’t accept him into their heart will perish in eternal damnation,” said religious entertainer Joel Osteen. “That is the truth, regardless of Christ’s actual involvement.”
A thoughtful Christ said he had yet to decide what would be next for him, but expressed pride in his philosophy and accomplishments.
“We had a good run,” said Christ. “It really far exceeded anything I had hoped for, but humanity was supposed to become more evolved over time, not less.
“It’s just time to pull the plug.”
Christ said he would likely dedicate his time to working on an autobiography that will focus on his philosophies and work with people from all walks of life.
“I figure after 2,000 years it’s about time there was a book about me,” said Christ. “You know, from someone who was actually there.”
When pressed for details, Christ said he wasn’t allowed to reveal anything about the upcoming tome due to a contractual commitment with But Christ did allow for one tidbit to be released - what the “H” stood for in “Jesus H. Christ.”
“Hector,” said Christ, walking out the door.
–WKW For years, Jesus Christ had kept quiet while his “followers” had killed and committed horrendous acts of intolerance in his name. They... more -
Shroud of Turin stirs new controversy
A Colorado couple researching the shroud dispute radiocarbon dating of the alleged burial cloth of Jesus, and Oxford has agreed to help them reexamine the findings. Read More... A Colorado couple researching the shroud dispute radiocarbon dating of the alleged burial cloth of Jesus, and Oxford has agreed to hel... more
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Christians, We Have A Problem With Our "Good" News
I have always believed that God is love and a loving God does not tortue people eternally. Serious bible study shows how certain words chosen in the New Testament to translate the texts into Greek, added Greek mythology concepts that the Old Testament doesn't support-namely the hellfire doctrine.
Finally the "good news" of Jesus Christ is really "good news". I have always believed that God is love and a loving God does not tortue people eternally. Serious bible study shows how certain word... more -
Secrets of Revelation
In mega-churches the message of Revelation is being taught in all new ways. Brought to you by National Geographic.
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Making Holy Anointing Oil
Making Holy Anointing Oil
1/4 Oz. Premium Cannabis flower tops Kaneh Bosm (buds)
1 cup (8 Oz.) Organic Extra virgin olive oil
Premium "essential oils"
30 drops of myrrh
15 drops of cinnamon and
30 drops of cassia (cinnamon leaf)
(Preferred Method)
Heat the olive oil in a double boiler until quite warm. add herb. heat for 20 min. or so being careful not to scorch the mixture. With a strainer drain the oil off, squeezing all the oil out of the herb. take the excess bulk and use in spaghetti sauce or for cooking something else. Add the rest of the ingredients stirring gently let cool and package.
In Exodus Chapter 30 verses 22- 25, the Lord commanded Moses to make a holy anointing oil from myrrh, cinnamon , sweet smelling cane(kaneh bosem), cassia and olive oil. This would have been a powerful antiviral and antibiotic oil, the use of which would give protection and treatment to those to whom it was administered. Myrrh is an effective antiseptic and cicatrisan (wound healer).
It has tremendous healing effects on sores, ulcers and boils . Cinnamon is a powerful antiviral, antifungal and antibacterial agent.
Cannabis has been used as a medicine for over 4000 years.
Olive Oil, Homer called it "liquid gold." In ancient Greece, athletes ritually rubbed it all over their body. Olive oil has been more than mere food to the peoples of the Mediterranean: it has been medicinal, magical, an endless source of fascination and wonder and the fountain of great wealth and power.
Besides food, olive oil has been used for religious rituals, medicines, as a fuel in oil lamps, soap-making, and skin care application.
Another use of oil in Jewish religion is for anointing the kings of the Kingdom of Israel, originating from King David. Tzidkiyahu was the last anointed King of Israel. One unusual use of olive oil in the Talmud is for bad breath, by creating a water-oil-salt mouthwash.
Olive oil also has religious symbolism for healing and strength and to consecration — God's setting a person or place apart for special work. This may be related to its ancient use as a medicinal agent and for cleansing athletes by slathering them in oil then scraping them. The Catholic and Orthodox Churches use olive oil for the Oil of Catechumens (used to bless and strengthen those preparing for Baptism) and Oil of the Sick (used to confer the Sacrament of Anointing of the Sick). Olive oil mixed with a perfuming agent like balsam is consecrated by bishops as Sacred Chrism, which is used to confer the sacrament of Confirmation (as a symbol of the strengthening of the Holy Spirit), in the rites of Baptism and the ordination of priests and bishops, in the consecration of altars and churches, and, traditionally, in the anointing of monarchs at their coronation. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons) and a number of other religions use olive oil when they need to consecrate an oil for anointings.
***
Visit the link above for more photo's and historical information or
this link here http://current.com/items/88984140_biblical_recipe_produ... Making Holy Anointing Oil 1/4 Oz. Premium Cannabis flower tops Kaneh Bosm (buds) 1 cup (8 Oz.) Organic Extra virgin olive oil ... more -
The THC Ministry
“We use Cannabis religiously and you can, too.”
Cultivation and enjoyment of Cannabis sacrament is a fundamental human right provided by God and protected by the first Amendment of the U.S. Constitution. It is our opinion that Cannabis is the original sacrament of Hebrew, Muslim, Christian, Hindu, Shinto, Buddhist, Rasta and more, and fulfills the prophesies to ‘raise up for them a plant of renown…’
Like the stone of the Bible that the builders rejected, the sacramental use of Cannabis is the cornerstone of the THC Ministry. Our Ministry helps to build your mana by providing a real education in practical Cannabis spirituality. Among other wonderful things, our Ministry helps to protect you from arrest, prosecution and/or conviction of ‘marijuana’ charges - wherever you live - starting as soon as you sign-up, become ordained and receive your ministry documents. We provide a legitimate religious ‘defense to prosecution‘ for sincere practitioners over 21 years old. As in Revelations 22-14, our Mission is to protect your God-given Right to “the tree of life.” If you are under 21-years old, you can still join the ministry if you (1) live independent of your parents, or (2) have your parent’s written permission.
We give thanks to all those in law enforcement who honor their sworn oath of office to defend the Constitutional right to practice our religion as our conscience dictates.
Some day Cannabis and hemp will be legal again in the U.S.A. and all over the world for everyone.
“And it shall come to pass in that day, that his burden shall be taken away from off thy shoulder, and his yoke from off thy neck, and the yoke shall be destroyed because of the anointing.” - Isaiah 10:27 “We use Cannabis religiously and you can, too.” ... more -
Biblical recipe produces virus-fighting oil !!!
Headline News
Monday, July 23, 2007 by Staff Writer
A professor from Tel Aviv University has used a passage of the Bible to produce a modern version of an ancient priestly oil that is capable of protecting against a wide range of viruses.
Professor Michael Ovadia of the university's Department of Zoology told Israel21c that concoction is based on a recipe from a passage of the Bible describing the preparation of a special oil Israel's temple priests were to anoint themselves with prior to conducting animal sacrifices.
"I had a hunch that this oil, which was prepared with cinnamon and other spices, played a role in preventing the spread of infectious agents to people," said Ovadia.
He prepared the oil according to the biblical recipe, and sure enough, found that it was extremely effective in preventing the transfer of viruses such as the Avian flu, herpes and even HIV.
Last week, Ovadia sold his discovery to Frutarom, a multinational nutraceutical company that plans to use the oil in a variety of applications, including preventing the spread of infections in airports and hospitals.
Is it possible that were two different recipe's and for two entirely separate reasons? one for general purpose anointing oil or perfume (kaneh bosm recipe), and one for consecration and sanctification purposes (calamus recipe) ?
see also :
http://www.israeltoday.co.il/default.aspx?tabid=178&...
http://www.judaic.com/judaica/anointing-oil.html
http://www.thc-ministry.org/thelivingtorah.jpg
http://www.freeanointing.org
http://www.cannabischurches.net
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holy_anointing_oil
http://www.cannabisculture.com/backissues/mayjune96/kan... Headline News Monday, July 23, 2007 by Staff Writer ... more -
Good Friday parade, Jesus's cross
A gathering in the town centre for the Good Friday parade, a symbol of this is when the cross Jesus carried is brought to the centre of the town square, carried by hand all the way. A gathering in the town centre for the Good Friday parade, a symbol of this is when the cross Jesus carried is brought to the centre o... more
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Look Kids.....Santa riding on his sleigh!
anta makes the annual pilgrimage around the streets, it is jolly cold but he has a nice big beard and a red coat to cheer him up.
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Iran's answer to the "passion of the Christ"?!
Its a award winning Iranian film "The Messiah" showing Jesus's (pbuh) life but it differs with the traditional Christian view... because here Jesus (pbuh) wasnt crucified! Yup... you heard right, he wasnt crucified but saved -based on Qur'an, 4:157!
The film has two endings... one with the traditional Christian viewpoint and the other with a interpretion from a Muslim perspective (which all Muslims may not agree with) to generate interfaith dialogue! Jesus (pbuh) is loved in Islam as a Messenger of God, Prophet of God and as the Messiah (annoited one) sent by Allah (God) but he isnt the son of God. However both faiths do agree and believe that Jesus (pbuh) will return... hopefully very soon! Its a award winning Iranian film "The Messiah" showing Jesus's (pbuh) life but it differs with the traditional Christia... more -
Polygamist's Sons: Incest Will Bring Back The Line Of Jesus Christ
Just when we thought it couldn't get any worse...
Alaric LeBaron, tells KSL.com 5, "My dad is a religious fanatic, and he believes in this. He believes that incest is going to bring back the line of Jesus Christ."
Ross LeBaron, Jr's three sons broke away from the polygamist lifestyle and claim that their father is impregnating their sister and claim to have the DNA evidence to prove it.
Ross LeBaron, Jr is a wealthy Utah man and three of his sons, David Uri LeBaron, Elend LeBaron and Alaric LeBaron (He is an Air Force doctor in Afghanistan so his comments were made via the phone), all tell a disturbing tale of their fathers belief that "incest is going to bring back the line of Jesus Christ."
According to David, one of his sisters has bore four children and his other sister has bore one. All three sons had saliva tests done and had the DNA compared to two of their sisters' young children.
David says, "Both of them, from our understanding, show that the father of those children were male members of the family", he continues, "We've done DNA testing. We know what's going on, and we're here to find a way to put an end to it."
See also http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148&sid=3202636 Just when we thought it couldn't get any worse... ... more -
New book suggests Mary was raped by Roman soldier, giving birth to Jesus
"Basic Instinct" director Paul Verhoeven has written a book that contradicts biblical teaching by suggesting that Jesus might have been fathered by a Roman soldier who raped Mary.
An Amsterdam publishing house said Wednesday it will publish the Dutch film maker's biography of Jesus, "Jesus of Nazareth: A Realistic Portrait," in September... "Basic Instinct" director Paul Verhoeven has written a book that contradicts biblical teaching by suggesting that Jesus migh... more -
Paul Verhoeven: Jesus was son of Mary and Roman rapist
In his upcoming biography of Jesus, "Basic Instinct" director Paul Verhoeven will make the shocking claim that Christ probably was the son of Mary and a Roman soldier who raped her during the Jewish uprising in Galilee, according to the Hollywood Reporter. In his upcoming biography of Jesus, "Basic Instinct" director Paul Verhoeven will make the shocking claim that Christ probab... more
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The Medical Aspects of the Crucifixion
Have you ever wondered what sort of torment Jesus endured during the crucifixion from a medical point of view? Doctor David Terasaka takes a medical look at Christ's suffering on the day of his crucifixion. This is a very compelling perspective and might appeal to people who prefer a more scientific look at how Jesus was able to endure such great torment.
Enjoy. Have you ever wondered what sort of torment Jesus endured during the crucifixion from a medical point of view? Doctor David Terasaka ... more -
Who really killed Jesus?
Who is really responsible for the death of Jesus Christ? Since the crucifixion, history has been filled with situations of violent antisemitism, justified by the belief that Jews were responsible for Christ's death.
This great article, by well-known preacher John MacArthur, shows who truly is responsible for Jesus' death. Who is really responsible for the death of Jesus Christ? Since the crucifixion, history has been filled with situations of violent an... more -
It’s Easter! Christ the Redeemer has risen from the Dead
As Christmas celebrates Jesus` birth, Easter celebrates his victory over death, and his resurrection. Easter, also called Pascha, does not have a fixed date, but always falls on Sunday between March 22 and April 25 following the cycle of the moon. It is the most important festival for Christians around the globe.
Easter celebrations include baptisms, the Eucharist and feasting. Churches hold Easter Sunrise service around 7:00 am which is the symbol of Jesus’ triumph over death. Boiled eggs with coloured sheets are traditionally served at breakfast, which represent new life and resurrection since pre-Christian spring celebrations.
Easter is a period of time rather than just a day. Traditionally the Season used to last for the forty days from Easter Day until Ascension Day, but it now officially lasts for the fifty days until Pentecost. The main events of the Easter story include Jesus’ execution, His burial, and most importantly, His rising from death. It is believed that Jesus rose from the dead, three days after He was crucified by the Roman soldiers on the cross of Calvary in 27-33 AD (Good Friday). On the day of crucifixion, Jesus bore all our sins upon Himself, to gave the Ultimate Sacrifice for all sins of mankind, eternally.
Alleluiah, He Arose!
Matthew 28:1-10, Mark 16:1-8
On the third day, a Sunday, Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James, and Salome went to the tomb at dawn to anoint the body of Jesus. But when they looked up, they saw that the stone, which was very large, had been rolled away. As they entered the tomb, they saw a young man dressed in a white robe sitting on the right side, and they were alarmed.
“Don’t be alarmed,” he said. “You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place they laid Him. But go, tell His disciples and Peter, ‘He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see Him, just as He told you.’ “ Trembling and bewildered, the women went out and fled from the tomb. They said nothing to anyone, as they were afraid.
Then, Jesus appeared to the women near the tomb and later at least twice to the disciples while they were gathered at a house in prayer. He visited two of the disciples on the road to Emmaus and he also appeared at the Sea of Galilee while several of the disciples were fishing. (NIV)
Out of doubts still, Thomas, one of His disciples did not believe that Jesus was alive again until he touched Jesus’ fatal wounds. In the following forty days, hundreds of people witnessed this Jesus, who had risen from death until He ascended to Heaven.
There are at least 12 different appearances of Christ in the resurrection accounts as reported in the New Testament, beginning with Mary and ending with Paul. These are: Matthew 28:8–20, Mark 16:9–20, Luke 24:13–49, John 20:11–21:25, Acts 1:1–11, and 1 Corinthians 15:3–9. They were physical, tangible experiences with Christ eating, speaking and allowing Himself to be touched. As Christmas celebrates Jesus` birth, Easter celebrates his victory over death, and his resurrection. Easter, also called Pascha, does... more -
Saving Sin City
Ex-hooker Annie Lobert shares her compelling story about how she went from selling her body as a prostitute in Las Vegas, to becoming a preacher. Her ministry "Hookers for Jesus" is a non-profit organization that promotes the word of God to ladies of the night in Las Vegas, NV. Annie and her associates hope to save sin city by bringing God to prostitutes, drug addicts, pimps, and others involved in the porn industry. Ex-hooker Annie Lobert shares her compelling story about how she went from selling her body as a prostitute in Las Vegas, to becoming ... more
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The Christ Power Has Returned to Earth!!!
I'm sure you think I'm crazy, but go to this myspace site and look at the blogs. There is a paper from Rudolf Steiner that is posted in pieces and it lays out the evidence that the Christ Power has returned to Earth.
This is spreading like wildfire across the web as we speak, trust me.
Peace and Love,
Wales James I'm sure you think I'm crazy, but go to this myspace site and look at the blogs. There is a paper from Rudolf Steiner that ... more -
World's biggest Christ struck by lightning
The bolt parted clouds in Rio De Janeiro, Brazil to strike the 130ft tall Christ.
The Christ was also named one of the 7 wondered of the world in 2007.
Now for the jokes ... lets hear 'em! The bolt parted clouds in Rio De Janeiro, Brazil to strike the 130ft tall Christ. ... more -
Stop Supporting Prosperity Preachers!
You don't have to send money to televangelists.
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Jesus Christ
