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Man succumbs to 7-year battle with health insurance
DENVER—After years of battling crippling premiums and agonizing deductibles, local resident Michael Haige finally succumbed this week to the health insurance policy that had ravaged his adult life.
Haige, who had suffered from limited medical coverage for nearly a decade, passed away early Monday morning. According to sources, the 46-year-old was laid to rest at Fairplains cemetery, surrounded by friends, family members, and more than $300,000 of mounting debt.
"I miss Michael every single day, but at least he can finally rest now," said Sheila Haige, who watched as insurance rates ate away at her husband over time. "What Michael went through, the humiliating forms, the invasive background checks, the complete loss of dignity and hope—I wouldn't wish that kind of torture on anyone."
Once a healthy and happy father of two, Haige saw his life forever change seven years ago when health insurance professionals diagnosed him with a preexisting condition. As months passed and his line of credit continued to deteriorate, the former high school football coach would experience excruciating headaches and bouts of nausea every time another hospital bill arrived.
"My dad always seemed invincible, like there was nothing in the world that could hurt him," son Ryan Haige said. "But then, one night, I found him bent over a stack of UB-92 and HCFA forms, and he was crying. I'd never seen my father look so scared in all my life."
Added Ryan, "Making those payments each month—it was killing him."
While family members refused to look at Haige's insurance plan as a death sentence, it soon became clear that their loved one was facing the biggest fight of his life. Countless visits to doctors, claims adjusters, and loan officers proved futile, with Haige being told at every turn that his case was hopeless.
"They said there was nothing they could do for him, that modern medicine was powerless against this monster," Sheila Haige said. "Still, Michael never gave up. He kept saying that he was going to beat the odds, that he was going to find some way to get coverage."
According to an independent study released last month by the Mayo Clinic, health insurance is the nation's No. 2 cause of death, claiming the lives of some 400,000 Americans each year. A silent killer, health insurance often strikes without warning, its harmful and profit-based policies avoiding detection until it is far too late. Although the cruel bureaucratic disorder does not discriminate, statistics have shown that senior citizens, young dependents, and those woefully underemployed are most at risk.
"I can't tell you the number of patients I've had to deliver the bad news to over the years," said Haige's longtime family physician, Dr. Howard Silverman. "It's never easy to look someone in the eye and tell them it's going to have to be out-of-pocket. For most of these poor people, prayer is the only hope."
Toward the end of Haige's seven-year ordeal, family members said, the once loving husband and father had become an empty husk of his former self.
"I remember the last thing he ever said to me," said eldest son Mark Haige, holding a small picture of his father during happier times, before the endless battery of co-pays began. "He took my hand in his, and he said, 'Son, promise me you'll never sign up for a high-deductible, network-model HMO.'"
While still angry and in shock over Michael's premature passing, Sheila and her two children say the whole experience has taught them the importance of family.
"If Dad were still with us, I know he would want us to be here, at home, supporting Mom," Mark Haige said. "She really hasn't been doing so well ever since Bankers Life and Casualty denied her life insurance claim." DENVER—After years of battling crippling premiums and agonizing deductibles, local resident Michael Haige finally succumbed this week ... more -
An Election Erection
New Sexually Transmitted Disease Warning (joke)
Worse than SARS and Bird Flu combined, The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of Sexually Transmitted Disease. The disease is contracted through dangerous and high-risk behavior. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim and pronounced 'gonna re-elect him.' Many victims contracted it in 2004, after having been screwed for the past four years. Cognitive characteristics of individuals infected include: anti-social personality disorders, delusions of grandeur with messianic overtones, extreme cognitive dissonance, inability to incorporate new information, pronounced xenophobia and paranoia, inability to accept responsibility for own actions, cowardice masked by misplaced bravado, uncontrolled facial smirking, ignorance of geography and history, tendencies towards
evangelical theocracy, categorical all-or-nothing behavior. Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed at how this destructive disease originated only a few years ago from a bush found in Texas. New Sexually Transmitted Disease Warning (joke) ... more -
Sean Green - Marriage & Vegetarians
Stand up comedy by Sean Green about being married and the dangers of being a vegetarian.
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Sean Green - Racism & Fat Chicks
Stand up comedy by Sean Green about types of racism and being a fat chick.
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Ky. politician jailed after joke; charge dismissed
HARLAN, Ky. -
Politicians are known for lame jokes. But when Otis "Bullman" Hensley tried a generations-old Appalachian jest on a woman and two girls at the grocery store, the family thought it was downright criminal.
Hensley, who earned notoriety for oddball antics as a longshot gubernatorial candidate, spent three days in jail in this eastern Kentucky coal town last week after being arrested over the wisecrack.
"Jay Leno makes jokes every night and makes millions," Hensley said in his thick Appalachian accent. "I make one joke and go to jail."
He could have faced as many as 10 years in prison, but a charge of attempted unlawful transaction with a minor was dismissed on Monday.
The ordeal began last week when Hensley's wife sent him to a local grocery store to buy ground beef. While there, Hensley encountered a woman with her two nieces, ages 11 and 13. "I offered to trade her a fattening hog for those girls," Hensley said. "I meant it as a joke. I've said it a million times. Most people get a kick out of it."
The woman didn't laugh. Instead, the family obtained a warrant for Hensley's arrest from the local prosecutor, claiming the comment was intended to entice the children into illegal sexual activity. HARLAN, Ky. - ... more -
Sean Green - BJs & Bananas
Stand up comedy by Sean Green about blow jobs and bananas.
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Buckle up - Edinburgh Fringe's funniest joke revealed
Zoe Lyons officially has the funniest joke on the Edinburgh Fringe, after scooping a new award. Her line: ‘I can\'t believe Amy Winehouse self-harms. She's so irritating she must be able to find someone to do it for her’ topped an online poll organised by digital TV channel Dave.
A panel of comedy critics drew up a shortlist of 30 jokes, which were then put up for a public vote. Brighton-based Lyons, 33, took the title – and £1,000 – after winning 12 per cent of the votes.
She said: ‘I’m absolutely delighted to have won the award. I know self-harming is not funny but it’s just a joke, so I'm not going to beat myself up about it!’ Zoe Lyons officially has the funniest joke on the Edinburgh Fringe, after scooping a new award. Her line: ‘I can\'t believe Amy W... more -
Michael Phelps Inspires New Olympic Sports...
A number of jokes have been doing the internet rounds since Michael Phelps' performances winning more gold medals than most countries.
Here's a joke that has been doing the rounds in China, roughly and partially translated below, posted on BlackcatWhitecat:
Everyone’s upset about Michael Phelps winning gold medals in the 100m, 200m, 400m and 1500m breastroke, backstroke butterfly and freestyle. Each country has demanded that more medals be awarded for their strongest sports.
Brazil wants football to be divided into 3-a-side, 5-a-side, 7-a-side and 11-a-side matches played on the beach, indoors and on grass.
China wants table tennis to be divided into pen-hold grip, shake-hand grip, pen-hold doubles, shake-hand doubles and pen-hold/shake-hand mixed doubles. It also wants diving to be divided into 1m, 2m, 3m, 4m… all the way up to 10m.
Britain wants equestrian events to be divided into black horse equestrian, white horse equestrian, chestnut and zebra.
Kenya wants long-distance running to include the 10,000m, 11,000m, 12,000m, 13,000m….
As well as men’s and women’s events, Thailand wants ladyboy events as well.
Only South Korea has had no objections. They just shouted “Michael Phelps is Korean!” A number of jokes have been doing the internet rounds since Michael Phelps' performances winning more gold medals than most count... more -
Seinfeld knows nothing about Olympics
As to medals, [Canadians] do not insist on gold, like our American cousins. We do not throw the silvers and bronzes back, like insufficiently impressive fish. As to medals, [Canadians] do not insist on gold, like our American cousins. We do not throw the silvers and bronzes back, like insuffi... more
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Take Off The Towel ! ( David Spates )
David Spates brings a quick internet text joke to life, David Style. Alonza Maxwell and Natasha are interupted by David Spates. I heard that a British group called "Wit Bits" made the original. Check out his many other videos like "What would you do if.." "The White Joke" " Talking with Dave..." and many others with more to come! Don't forget to add me as a friend and subscribe. :-)
Also if you have a youtube, Myspace, Facebook, or tagged account, please add me there too. Just search for my name. David Spates :-) David Spates brings a quick internet text joke to life, David Style. Alonza Maxwell and Natasha are interupted by David Spates. I hear... more -
What Would You Do If? - Elevator - ( David Spates )
David Spates asks the question and shows the answer of what people would do if they walked into an elevator and a guy with a BIG knife and bloody shirt walked in after them. Check out my other crazy videos like "The White Joke", "Crackhead Thief", "YouTube Crack Head",and many others with more to come! Don't forget to add me as a friend and subscribe. :-)
Also if you have a youtube, Myspace, Facebook, or tagged account, please add me there too. Just search for my name. David Spates :-) David Spates asks the question and shows the answer of what people would do if they walked into an elevator and a guy with a BIG knife... more -
The White Joke ( David Spates )
David Spates Learns The White Joke.... The Hard Way. Alonza Maxwell, John Nelson, Adam Brooks, Bradford Benoit. Check out my other crazy videos like "What would you do if?...", "Crackhead Thief", "YouTube Crack Head", and many others with more to come! Don't forget to add me as a friend and subscribe. :-)
Also if you have a youtube, Myspace, Facebook, or tagged account, please add me there too. Just search for my name. David Spates :-) David Spates Learns The White Joke.... The Hard Way. Alonza Maxwell, John Nelson, Adam Brooks, Bradford Benoit. Check out my other cra... more -
World's Oldest Joke Traced Back to Sumeria 1000BC.... And It's About Far...
The University of Wolverhampton published a list of the 10 oldest jokes in the world. The Sumerian example eludes me to some degree, but the oldest English joke represents a format still found in modern jokes!
"What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before? Answer: A key!"
Made me chuckle anyway... Though today's examples are a little more shocking, I would think this was considered so at the time! The University of Wolverhampton published a list of the 10 oldest jokes in the world. The Sumerian example eludes me to some degree, b... more -
McCain is a Jokester....
McCain blesses us with his fiery humor. This video shows McCain joking around about war with Iran.
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Yard Work - As Viewed from Heaven from Bill Brown at NM Global Warming
On a lighter note from our friend Bill Brown at New Mexico Global Warming up in Taos, New Mexico.
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"Greetings, All -- For your amusement, a conversation in Heaven about realities on Earth.
-- Bill Brown
YARD WORK - AS VIEWED FROM HEAVEN
(overheard in a conversation between God and St. Francis):
God: Francis, you know all about gardens and nature; what in the
world is going on down there in the U.S.? What happened to the
dandelions, violets, thistles and the stuff I started eons ago?
I had a perfect no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow
in any type of soil, withstand drought, and multiply with
abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts
butterflies, honeybees, and flocks of songbirds. I expected to
see a vast garden of color by now. All I see are patches of
green.
St. Francis: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. They are
called the Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers
"weeds" and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them
with grass.
God: Grass? But it is so boring, it's not colorful. It doesn't
attract butterflies, bees or birds, only grubs and sod worms.
It's temperamental with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites
really want grass growing there?
St. Francis: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it has grown a
little, they cut it....sometimes two times a week.
God: They cut it? Do they bale it like hay?
St. Francis: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put
it in bags.
God: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?
St. Francis: No sir, just the opposite. They pay to throw it
away.
God: Now let me get this straight...they fertilize it to make it
grow and when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it
away?
St. Francis: Yes, sir.
God: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we
cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows
the growth and saves them a lot of work.
St. Francis: You aren't going to believe this Lord, but when the
grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more
money to water it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get
rid of it.
God: What nonsense! At least they kept some of the trees.
That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself.
The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade
in the summer. In the autumn they fall to the ground and form a
natural blanket to keep the moisture in the soil and protect the
trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves become compost
to enhance the soil. It's a natural circle of life.
St. Francis: You'd better sit down, Lord. As soon as the leaves
fall, the Suburbanites rake them into great piles and pay to
have them hauled away.
God: No way! What do they do to protect the shrubs and tree
roots in the winter to keep the soil moist and loose?
St Francis: After throwing the leaves away, they go out and buy
something called mulch. They haul it home and spread it around
in place of the leaves.
God: And where do they get this mulch?
St. Francis: They cut down the trees and grind them up to make
mulch.
God: Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore.
Saint Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have
you scheduled for us tonight?
St. Catherine: "Dumb and Dumber," Lord. It's a really stupid
movie about...
God: Never mind -I think I just heard the whole story from Saint
Francis!"
Bill Brown
www.nmglobalwarming.org
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from TouchArt.net and OneEarthBlog.blogspot.com On a lighter note from our friend Bill Brown at New Mexico Global Warming up in Taos, New Mexico. _________________ ... more -
Right Said Fred jukebox trick!
In a pub with a Right Said Fred disliking mate, after a few beers I decided to surprise him with a 2nd helping of I'm too sexy
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How can you tell if a politician is lying?
Their lips are moving.
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Wiggy goes out in town!
Man with his new wig does some shopping with his new pet in town
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