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Mad cow woman: "suck my udders"
An Ohio woman has been arrested after she went on a drunken rampage wearing a full body cow-suit, when she was supposed to be advertising a local theme park.
Reports claim that Michelle Allen was chasing children, threatening police and even urinated on a nearby garden before being arrested.
That's a pretty weird chain of events right there, but it gets so much better, when she was taken to court she'd clearly become at one with her new bovine exterior, because she started challenging people of the court to "suck her udders."
Just a bad day at the office... right? An Ohio woman has been arrested after she went on a drunken rampage wearing a full body cow-suit, when she was supposed to be advertis... more -
» Raman Singh attacked by cow he prays to
September 8th, 2008 - 8:45 pm ICT by IANS -
Raipur, Sep 8 (IANS) Chhattisgarh Chief Minister Raman Singh escaped getting hurt after being attacked by a cow he offered sweets to following prayers to “goumata”, the police said. His security staff escorted the chief minister to safety following the incident Sunday evening some 75 km west of Raipur. Raman Singh had gone to Rajnandgaon to inaugurate nine newly-built cowsheds.
After praying to “goumata” (mother cow), the chief minister offered sweets to a cow. But it tried to gore him.
A police inspector, Arshad Khan, was injured after being knocked down by the cow. He was taken to a hospital where doctors said he may have sustained internal injuries.
Officials said the cow probably got irritated as Bharatiya Janata Party members kept shouting slogans at the venue. September 8th, 2008 - 8:45 pm ICT by IANS - ... more -
Pint sized Dexter cows helping NZ town folk as prices rise | NATIONAL | NEWS | tvn...
The price of milk has shot through the roof prompting even town folk to start running their own cows.
It seems they have discovered a sort of town cow - low maintenance, cute and only about the size of a big dog.
The Dexter breed is just the right size for people with a small parcel of land and no stomach for rising meat and milk prices.
Bruce and Liz Jones have been breeding Dexters for 10 years and say more and more people are going DIY.
All people need is an acre and they cost around $400 to buy and $200 a year to keep.
For that the owners get over 20 litres of milk a day, a free lawnmower, pet day calf for the kids and they're also a source of quite tasty meat worth around a $1000.
And apart from needing a drench a few times a year, they're pretty low-maintenance.
It is said Dexters were once used to help struggling Irish families stay alive.
Robyn Snelgar, the Dexter Cattle Society secretary, says they were the cows that the poor man could keep basically on his backyard.
"Very small acreage and they got all the things that you get from the dairy cattle, the milk, the cream, the cheese and the meat of course," says Snelgar.
And it seems in these tough times; Dexters are now New Zealand's cash cows. The price of milk has shot through the roof prompting even town folk to start running their own cows. ... more -
Jessica's milkmaid costume-International Buzz-Entertainment-The Times of Indi...
Singer and actress Jessica Simpson wore a milkmaid costume at a recent concert and dressed up as a cowgirl for another, while singing about the "secret lovers" she has had.
Simpson, who is tying to make a foray into country music, has not been getting too many favourable reviews of late and she wants to spruce up her image now, reports thesun.co.uk.
But her songs, interestingly, seem to be hinting of secret lovers. She reveals that some songs are about “guys that people don't even know that I've been in love with. I've had secret lovers. I can keep some things quiet”. Singer and actress Jessica Simpson wore a milkmaid costume at a recent concert and dressed up as a cowgirl for another, while singing ... more -
Cornish Cow Drum Disaster | Sky News
An unfortunate cow had to be freed by the RSPCA after getting its head stuck in a washing machine drum that had been dumped in its field.
The Cornish cow's ordeal ended after a member of the public saw the animal trying to free itself - and called the animal charity to the scene in Higher Fraddon, St Columb.
"It is one of the more unusual things we have had to rescue an animal from," said RSPCA spokeswoman Jo Barr.
"Young cows are quite curious, and she probably thought there was some food inside the drum."
RSPCA inspector David Hobbs rescued the heifer and returned it to the herd.
The cow was lucky to escape unharmed after the washing machine incident - but the animal charity warned fly tipping can pose a serious danger to wildlife.
Mr Hobbs said: "Most people hate to see fly-tipping as it is an ugly blight on the landscape, but incidents like these highlight that as well as the visual impact the rubbish can also endanger animals.
"The heifer was probably curious to see a new item dumped in the field and curiosity would have turned to panic once she got her head stuck in the drum and was unable to get it out.
"If people disposed of their rubbish properly many animals would be saved from injury and death.
"A large proportion of the injuries the Society's inspectors, animal collection officers, vets and wildlife hospitals deal with are caused by carelessly discarded rubbish and fishing litter." An unfortunate cow had to be freed by the RSPCA after getting its head stuck in a washing machine drum that had been dumped in its fie... more -
Life On the Roof: Shoo cow, don't bother me.
Oh how I MISS my camera! It's being fixed as we speak, and if the camera shop knows what's good for it, it'll have it back here before my baby turns two, in TWO WEEKS ('scuse me while I take a moment to hyperventilate....how did I end up with a two year old?)
I wish my camera had been here on Monday morning, when Steve awoke to find SIX cows on our front lawn. Remember this guy? Ah hell, lets give him a close up:
Imagine him, and 5 of his friends (thats FIVE, people....1,2,3,4,5!!!) greeting you from less than 20 feet away before you've even had a chance to have your Monday morning coffee. To follow that, the OPP came a knocking on the door, someone had wisely reported the wandering bovine, because before wandering into our yard, they had taken a little stroll along the ROAD.
Now, we DO live in the country, but we also do live on a fairly major road, with a big gravel pit right around the corner. There are a pile of big-arsed trucks bombing along our road all day long. Add to that the little twisty-turny uppy-downy that our road does, and you can see how a cow going for a middle of the road stroll may end up in some trouble. There was one near-miss that morning, you can clearly see the 30 foot skid marks on the highway right about the spot where our driveway ends. And all this before 8:30am on a Monday. Hell of a way to start a week!
I wonder, if a cow gets hit by a gravel truck and lands on your property, do you get to keep the meat? That's a whole lotta steak going to waste if you don't.
(I'm a classy gal, I know. You don't have to say it!)
In other news....there is no other news. Escaped cows, that's the highlight of the week 'round here! A solid indication of the lives we lead! Oh how I MISS my camera! It's being fixed as we speak, and if the camera shop knows what's good for it, it'll have it b... more -
Bovine versus bear in the apple fight : News : WFXL Fox 31
COLORADO -- It was a bovine versus bear in Colorado after a black bear picked the wrong tree to try and steal apples from. The tree was in a pasture in Hygiene, west of Longmont. It's home to a Black Angus cow and she's very territorial. In fact, the cow is named "Apple" because she loves to eat them, and the bear was in her tree.
Jack McDonald and Penny Cox are tenants on the property. They said they heard a ruckus at about 5 p.m. on Sunday and when they looked they saw the bear. The bear climbed down from the tree, and climbed over the fence to get a closer look at "Apple." The two stared each other down for some time and even touched noses at one point. Then Apple chased the bear back up the apple tree. Finally she had enough of the bear and chased him off the property.
They called the Division of Wildlife and were told there were reports of a mother bear and two cubs in the area. The DOW figured the bear was one of the cubs. Nancy Dayton owns the cow. She says Apple acts more like a dog than a cow. Make that: guard cow. COLORADO -- It was a bovine versus bear in Colorado after a black bear picked the wrong tree to try and steal apples from. The tree wa... more -
Hand-held computers enter the cow-breeding scene
We have begun breeding cows again after a break of about four months. We take this break to avoid having any animals giving birth during the cold winter months. Kenny Vidal, from Genex/CRI, stopped to service a cow this afternoon, and he was toting a new piece of equipment that we hadn't seen on the farm before today. It was a hand-held computer that he would use to record his visit to the farm instead of leaving a carbon copy receipt in our breeding book.
After pulling the straw of semen from our liquid nitrogen tan, Kenny entered all the information including our farm member number, the cow ID, the bull information, and the cost of the service call. Once he had this done, he still made sure to enter the necessary information, using an antique ball point pen, into our herd book, breeding chart, and semen inventory chart. We went out into the freestalls to find Thelma, the cow to breed this afternoon, after all the paperwork was done and the semen had had a chance to thaw. Once Thelma was inseminated, Kenny packed up his kit, scrubbed his boots well with a sanitizing solution, and put his gear in his dust-covered Subaru.
Dscn8769It's always interesting to see what new idea, or tool, or product will make its way to the farm. Kenny put my email address into his hand-held, and I'll receive e-receipts once the main office gets his downloads at the end of the day. No more paper receipts, and hopefully an easier time for the technicians. I have resisted using sexed semen on my farm, which you see advertised on the liquid nitrogen tank in the back of Kenny's car. Some advances I just don't want to use on our organic, sustainable family farm. But I have learned never to say “Never.” We have begun breeding cows again after a break of about four months. We take this break to avoid having any animals giving birth duri... more -
Cow gas curdling climate? :: PostStar.com
CHICAGO - Burgeoning efforts to curb global-warming pollution are taking aim at an unlikely new target: the placid, cud-chewing cow.
Scientists have long known that cattle and other livestock are a major contributor to climate change worldwide, and although researchers, regulators and activists have devoted most of their attention to other culprits -- such as cars and coal-fired power plants -- that is starting to change.
As dairy and beef cows chew and rechew their feed, their belches and other, er, gastric eruptions produce enormous quantities of methane, a greenhouse gas 23 times more potent than carbon dioxide.
All that cow flatulence is bad enough, but clearing forests for pastures and the manufacturing of fertilizers to grow cattle feed produce even more greenhouse gases. When those sources are considered, the United Nations estimates that the world's livestock system is a bigger part of the problem than transportation.
The impact is great enough that researchers are stepping up efforts to limit bovine burps by tinkering with cattle feed. Some large dairies, including three in Illinois, are pumping the millions of gallons of manure they produce into bacteria-filled tanks that capture methane and use it to generate electricity.
Changes are quietly taking place at supermarkets and dinner tables, too. Bon Appetit Management Co., which operates 400 cafes at universities, museums and corporate offices in the U.S., is pushing to cut the firm's greenhouse gas emissions by 25 percent, in part by limiting the amount of beef and cheese served.
[more at the link] CHICAGO - Burgeoning efforts to curb global-warming pollution are taking aim at an unlikely new target: the placid, cud-chewing cow. ... more -
Bryzon's Blurbs: Bovine
Yeah, we talk about stupid stuff in our guild, so what? Anyways, today's topic was Cheddary's pet....a cow. Anyways, we were talkinga bout this flash video:
(go to the website to see the video). Yeah, we talk about stupid stuff in our guild, so what? Anyways, today's topic was Cheddary's pet....a cow. Anyways, we were... more -
Richwah's Blog: COW-COW BOOGIE
So there I am at a local eatery listening to the three cows at the next table loudly ranting incessantly about the most inane things. They are very typical of the town I live in, a university village in North Carolina (you figure it out). I’m naming no names today.
These women are doing what is euphemistically called “catching up”. I can tell from their conversation (entirely too audible for pleasure) that they haven’t seen each other in quite some time and they are playing the old game 20 Questions. Cows catching up. Get it?
“So where have you been?” “Who are you married to now?” “How is your family?” “Did you make that dress?” “Where did you buy it?”
And, oddly enough, one of the cows is asking AND answering all the questions while the other two eat. (Or is one chewing the fat while the other two chew their cuds?) They are attempting to enjoy their food and the questioner is occasionally getting a bite or two into her gaping hole of a loud mouth while the majority of her black beans end up on her tacky blouse. “Did you make that blouse?” “Where did you get it? Fine Feathers?”
And my only question is “WHO CARES? SHUT UP AND EAT!” This whole scenario is a testimonial to TV dinners, Swanson or Healthy Choice. Take your pick and head directly to your microwave. Do not pass go.
So it got me to thinking about cows and how a lot of people use that word to describe certain females. And I got to wondering: what really is a cow? If I had been blessed at the time with a camera with sound equipment, I could have had evidence of what a cow is in thousands of pixels acceptable in any court of law in a triple murder case.
So I asked out loud “What is a cow?” Of course, the cows didn’t hear me because they were too busy yaking (is there a female yak and is she called a cow?) They were too busy spitting black beans all over the place. So various people began to give me their definitions of cow.
One waitress said “a bovine” and walked away looking for more tips. Another said that a cow is a female bovine. So I asked, “What, then, is a bull? It is a male cow or what? Someone immediately told me that a steer was a male cow who has, or rather doesn’t have his testicles any longer. And then somebody said that a cow was a female bovine who had produced at least one calf.
And then I asked, “Well aren’t there other cows? Like elephants females, lady rhinos, whales, seals? What about yaks? I needed to know. I began to relax in the knowledge that Mr. Google would tell me my answers.
Apparently, “cow” is a also derogatory term used to describe a woman, especially a fat or stupid one. That’s what Mr. Webster says. I was beginning to get tired of the whole thing when the three cows (who perfectly fit Mr. Webster’s description) asked the waitress cow to pack up their leftovers to take home to the barn, I guess, to aid in lactose production for the night. And they got up, walked out of my favorite restaurant and didn’t even leave a tip. And I had finished dancing my “Cow-Cow Boogie.” Or had I?
What, then, I ask you, is a cowboy? Better start up the music again. So there I am at a local eatery listening to the three cows at the next table loudly ranting incessantly about the most inane things. ... more -
Rustler makes off with Southlake cow statue | News Feed Stories | Star-Telegram.co...
A cow statue was found dumped in a park July 22 after someone took it from an undetermined location in the city, according to a police report.
The bovine, owned by Terra/Estes Park Management, is one of many displayed as public art throughout the city.
No one had been arrested in the criminal-mischief case.
The statue was found about 100 feet from the 2100 block of Cheyenne Lane.
The heavy critter was valued at $1,000.
It may be worth less now because part of the cow’s head was missing.
— Domingo Ramirez Jr. A cow statue was found dumped in a park July 22 after someone took it from an undetermined location in the city, according to a police... more -
Fish In My Hair: The secret life of cows.
So, this summer we've had a day-care cow. By that I mean, there is a neighbor's cow who comes over to our house every day around 10:00 am, eats our grass, fertilizes our lawn, and goes home around 3:00 pm. See? Day-care cow.
I have a theory about this cow. I think she got wind of the runaway bull adventure we had a couple of years ago, and she's hoping that she, too, can get a ride in an SUV. I mean, think about it. A cow's life is about as exciting as a potato on sedatives. What does a cow do all day but eat grass, make manure, and sleep? So when that calf got home after his little car trip, don't you know he was the talk of the barnyard? He's probably something of a bovine legendary myth by now. "Oh, your uncle Clovis met Buford, The Backseat Cow. 'Course, that was back when he was a bull, before the, uh, surgery. Some folks say that's what made him get the wandering hooves."
Really, the only time cows get any travel experience at all is when they get loaded up in a trailer for a ride to that Great Pasture In The Sky. And it's not like they know what's going to happen. They're probably all excited, "Oo, I hear that where we're going, we'll be surrounded by greenery." No one's going to tell them, "Uh, that greenery would be the lettuce between you and the bun."
Well, gotta run. I have to find out if having a day-care cow is a home business, for tax purposes. So, this summer we've had a day-care cow. By that I mean, there is a neighbor's cow who comes over to our house every day ar... more -
Confiscating Futile Cow Bone Stuff In An Artistic Way
A glorious UK designer Andrew Ross who is a product of Dundee University has lately got the “New Designers Swarovski Crystal Palace Award” for exploring “out of the blue stuff” every time. This youthful designer at this time approaches us with a fresh thought of utilizing cow bones to craft gamut of creative articles. Earlier cow bones were used for nourishment of cattle but nowadays this act has been disallowed owing to BSE (Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy) which is an atrocious cow syndrome catastrophe. Subsequent to prohibition of this practice, cow bones are just lying redundant in abattoirs after getting butchered for mutton.
This brilliant designer intends to make the most of such superfluous material for making beautiful items like women jewelry. For this Bone Project Andrew received the matter straight through slaughterhouses.
By comprehensive analysis of relevancies the designer makes us certain that his mission will be favorable both to surroundings and financial system. His eco plan would definitely facilitate the world in maintaining a green unsoiled atmosphere. Moreover this innovative ecofriendly scheme would make farmers more self reliant by assisting them to cultivate crops and formulating new creative stuff as well. A glorious UK designer Andrew Ross who is a product of Dundee University has lately got the “New Designers Swarovski Crystal Palace Aw... more -
Zane's Business: Cow Sells for $1 Million
The first cow to ever sell for over $1 Million just traded hands at an auction in Litchfield, Connecticut. Considering that the price of beef is around $1 per pound (while still on four legs), this must have been one special cow to sell for over $1 Million. Photo credit to skyza and sxc.hu.
What makes a cow the most valuable?
What makes a cow worth over $1 million is a classic example of supply and demand. While there are many cows available, this cow was far rarer than the average bovine. This cow, whose name is Apple, has genes that caused her color to be red. This is a very rare color for a Holstein cow. Apple the cow’s calves even sell for around $150,000 each.
Interestingly, I have written a separate article about diamonds. Just like the $1 million cow, the most valuable diamonds are red diamonds. One red diamond sold for $8 million. A diamond may be forever, but a cow is not.
Perhaps the key to investing is to begin looking for red colored investments. Stay tuned to…Zane’s Business. The first cow to ever sell for over $1 Million just traded hands at an auction in Litchfield, Connecticut. Considering that the price ... more -
Alien Cow | Foetus | Weird Fetus | Alien baby
Some have claimed this dead foetus, born to a Thai cow, is an alien baby. Some that it is a genetic abhorration known as achondroplasia, related to dwarfism, that affects cows.
Us? We like the alien story. We want to believe. Some have claimed this dead foetus, born to a Thai cow, is an alien baby. Some that it is a genetic abhorration known as achondroplasi... more -
The Beading Gem's Journal
Bone has been used in jewelry making for thousands of years. But quite honestly, do we really know where the bone we use comes from? Nope. One participant at a beading party was slightly alarmed and actually asked me about the bone beads in my collection - like, were they human? I reassured her they weren't but I thought it might be cow bone but I couldn't be sure.
One designer who does know where his bone comes from is Andrew Ross for his raw material came from an abattoir. A graduate of Dundee University (UK), Ross recently won the The New Designers Swarovski Crystal Palace Award for innovative product design. His prize was £1000 (approximately $2000) worth of crystals and a 2 years membership to newdesignersonline.co.uk. He said, "I’m impressed that Swarovski saw the potential of my project as mainstream material." Bone has been used in jewelry making for thousands of years. But quite honestly, do we really know where the bone we use comes from? N... more -
Catherine O’Leary’s Cow Slander -- The truth revealed.
“Red Rain”
The Great Chicago Fire of 1871 burned the city to the ground for two days straight, killing hundreds and leaving thousands homeless. The fire left four square miles in ruins. As burning cinders fell from the sky, historical accounts describe the night sky as filled with “red rain.”
The unknown cause of the fire was first blamed on Catherine O’Leary’s cow! Rumor had it that the pyromaniacal bovine kicked over a kerosene lamp that started the blaze. However, an unscrupulous newspaper reporter finally ‘fessed up to inventing the colorful story, clearing the slander against the good cow’s name (which was either Daisy, Madeline, or Gwendolyn… a mystery for another post). “Red Rain” ... more -
Scroungeman: Help With Milking the "Cows"....
Our two Dachshunds have always been interested in cows. When we go anywhere with them in the truck, they watch out the window in case we pass any. When they can't SEE any Bovine, they sniff the air vent to see if they can detect any faint "cow" smells.
They're usually pretty good at finding them....
Once spotted, one, or both, will bark at them until they are out of sight. No matter that the cows never actually see or hear them, it's still fun to let them know who's boss.
The dogs have always been inquisitive about our goats. They will even go into the pen and nose around with the newborns. Most of the Nanny goats we have, have learned they are not really a threat, so they allow it.
This past March, we happened to find a couple of Kinder milk goats (and their kids).
My male Doxie - Rascal - really loves "helping" me milk. All I have to say before milking time is "I need help milking the cows", and he takes off for the back door.
Of course, there IS incentive for this. I always squirt some, fresh from the tap, into a dish for his breakfast.
The first couple of times, there was a bit of "apprehension" on his - and the goat's - part. They would meet halfway on the short trip to the milk stand and BOTH would freeze for a bit, not knowing what to do. One of the goats just ignores him now. The other is still wary and they give each other a wide berth, but breakfast is more important then a stand off with a pint-sized dog.
In addition to his standing by for free food, Rascal has other duties.
Mainly guarding the goat and I from those evil chickens and pesky cats. He camps out beside me and "OOFS" at anyone else who comes near.
He also is not keen on sharing breakfast, either....
He makes sure he gets all of the available hand outs and all is "secure" before he allows the "clean up crew" in to make sure any milk on the stand is taken care of.
Before he started going out to help, the "clean up crew" got all the spoils and would even try to clean up while I was still milking.
Not any more - they have to wait until we're all done. They don't even TRY to clean up early.
One "OOF" and they know Rascal MEANS business.
Ordinarily, Rascal and the cats get along but, hey, this is breakfast..... Our two Dachshunds have always been interested in cows. When we go anywhere with them in the truck, they watch out the window in case ... more -
Guyana Providence Stadium: Guyana - Cows should get breathalyzer tests too
Cow leads police on two-hour chase“If they can’t catch a cow, how they gon catch de bandits? “ one resident of Uitvlugt said, after police on the West Coast of Demerara tried desperately to haul in a bovine that caused significant damage to one of their vehicles, yesterday.
Kaieteur News understands that the ranks tried for about two hours to reign in the animal to get a look at its brand with a view to prosecuting its owner.
According to reports, the police were proceeding along the Uitvlugt Public Road when they struck one of the many cows wandering on the roadway.
The police vehicle was significantly damaged, but it was obvious that the animal only suffered minor injuries, since it kept avoiding capture no matter how desperately the police and other public-spirited persons tried.
The ranks ran until they were exhausted. Some sat at the side of the road and some begged to give up the chase, but they remembered the surcharge for the damage to the vehicle.
It was as if the cow was mocking them, because, when they stopped, the cow pretended to ignore them, but as soon as they rushed, the cow ran. It was laugh galore! In the end they succeeded in capturing the animal.
Eventually, after almost two hours, the animal was finally caught and tied to another police vehicle, and taken to the Leonora Police Station. This newspaper was unable to ascertain if the animal was branded.
Many motorists have had to cut their losses after coming into contact with several herds that frequent the public roads, because they were not branded.
But the police are certain that they will not suffer the same fate, and have vowed that whoever owns the animal will have to pay dearly. Cow leads police on two-hour chase“If they can’t catch a cow, how they gon catch de bandits? “ one resident of Uitvlugt said, after po... more
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